Im broken right now. A lot running through my head. Ive been trying to distract myself with other stuff, but there comes a point where you have to face it dead on. I cant avoid it any longer. I went for a walk, Im sitting on a rock, starring at the ocean, running it all through my head, and thinking a lot. And all I keep asking myself is, why wasnt it me? It could have been me. Im grateful that it wasnt, because I have amazing children that I love and need just as much as they love and need me. A family that loves and supports me the best that they can. A few good, true friends, which is hard to come by these days. And I have the love of my life Robert Rankin that I am engaged to. But Im stuck with questions that will never be answered. The thought of I was right there when it happened, yet Im still here. Its almost like guilt. I dont know what to do. But thank God for the life that I do have. Even though Im homeless, my kids are living with my grandmother, and I have a lot of messed up shit going on in my life and in my head. But it could always be worse. God never gives you anything you cant handle. And He must think I can handle a lot.
Posted on: Fri, 03 Oct 2014 22:40:37 +0000
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