Im not sure if this is going to inspire too many. But its the thoughts that came to me today as I was out running. Today we all enter the final days of preparing for our belt gradings. 4 days remain to iron out those little imperfections and prepare ourselves to be the best we can be as we put ourselves to the test next week. For me it was a new beginning of sorts. It was the first day of really preparing for my next challenge which in the half marathon next month. I woke up this morning and I was in the most immense pain. This went beyond muscle stiffness. It was like my entire body was consumed by thus dull ache that wouldnt let go. I did my usual, got up, had my coffee, black because I was out of milk blaah and my morning fb chat with Debs and whoever else pops online. Numerous thoughts crossed my mind but Ive been focusing a lot lately on one person. I mentioned him yesterday in one of my posts. His name was John and he was one of the best friends I ever had. We knew each other for years and this month marks the 20th anniversary of his passing. Words cant describe the loss we all felt when we learned he was gone. I couldnt get him out of my mind the whole time I was out running. But instead of making this an entirly sad post that makes me look like Im just trying to gain sympathy for my self I decided to dedicate something to him that if he was here reading this would send him laughing. My UK friends may not get this bu he and I were both big fans of the David Letterman show and most fond of his hilarious top 10 lists. So in his memory Im going to make a top 10 list of the fondest memories I have of he and I which when it boils down is 10 of the craziest and silliest things we did, with a few exceptions. So John, if your listening this is for you. 10. Sitting out all night in front of the Breslin center ticket office,East Lansing, Michigan avoiding the police to be first in line to get Elton John tickets that went on sale at 8am the following morning. We emerged victorious with 4th row seats and on the night of the show were taken up to the stage to meet the great man himself. You got to shake his hand John but was really hoping you were kidding when you said you werent going to wash it again. 9. Going out for bad Mexican food and movies. I became so ill that I couldnt walk. We had to leave the film early. The theater was in a shopping mall so to help me this crazy nut went, stole a large shopping cart. (Trolley for my UK friends) helped loaded me in it and wheeled me to the car. We attracted a few looks one of which was mall security. He explained the situation an gave the guy a good laugh. 8. Nearly getting kicked out of a Bryan Adams concert. We got fed up and annoyed with all the kissing couples that emerged when he sang his Everything I do, song. We shouted out Get a room and spent the next several minutes chucking popcorn at them. 7. Enduring a 10 hour run of chick flicks with me because I was upset over yet another asshole that had broken my heart. 6.His feeble attempt to teach me to play darts and his bravery in letting me try in our local pub/bar. I managed to hit just about everything there but the dart board. I remember him saying, Well you had better just reach for the sky because with your aim thats about all you have a chance of hitting. 5. Playing tennis one day at Eastern high Schools courts. It was one of the hottest days of the year. We played for hours only to watch the black clouds roll in and the weather break. We flew back to his house, sat on his enclosed patio and watched as one of the worst thunderstorms in our states history ripped through. anyone with any sense was taking refuge in their basements. 4. The endless Trivial Pursuit battles. We were once locked in combat for 12 hours with neither side claiming victory. This generation awaited the Harry Potter releases. We were at the stores when the lasted TP edition came out. 3. The countless Lethal Weapon Triple features. Im so sorry you didnt make it to see the 4th one. Not the greatest film but one for the collection. 2.The Monty Python stints we went through sometimes going for days. Our plan to get to London one day to see where the British comedy that he really loved was made. Sadly only one of us did. 1. Thinking we were half decent at basketball until going to the local courts and getting our asses kicked by a pair on 10 year olds. Your mom got quite a laugh out of that one but consoled us with a spaghetti dinner. This is just the tip of the iceberg. We were always up to something and it sometimes amazes me we didnt end up in jail. These memories and so many more came flooding back as i was running. Something he also used to enjoy. I also thought of so many other things that I wanted to say to him. Like Im so sorry that with all the time I knew you and all the time we spent together that I never realized how much pain you were really in. I remembered when I moved to Washington and how you tried to hide how upset you were that I was going. And the clues you left me about what you were planning to do and how I didnt realize them until it was too late. I remembered sitting in my apartment in Bethesda, Maryland ready to pick up the phone and call you about everything that had happened in the week that I had been there. But sadly something came up and I decided to wait. Then 2 days later I got the call from home telling me that you were gone. I remembered thinking about how over the past 20 years not a day has gone by that I wish I would have made that call because maybe you would have hung on just that little bit longer. I remembered feeling so angry at you for not trying to hang on.You knew I was coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Instead of a fun filled holiday time with more of our crazy antics I had to console your family that was still grieving. Most of all I remembered how I have beat myself up over the past 20 years because Ive felt like I let you down. And im so sorry if I have. In the words of one of our favorite bands and favorite songs we used to love, Pink Floyd, how I wish you were here, well I do right now. Yes the phone bill and travel costs would be huge but what immense pleasure we would have in annoying people on both sides of the Atlantic. I also realized that I cant harbor the guilt over what happened to you anymore. Its been 20 years and its time to let it go. I hope where ever you are you are happy and at peace and likely stirring shit and making those around you laugh. I also hope you know that despite the horrible way you left and the pain it brought all of us that knew you. While you were with us you brought us such laughter and joy. Anyone of my friends that is still Earthbound and actually managed to read this whole post, well first Im impressed but second, keep in mind its an emotional one for me this weekend. Try to go easy on me. Also remember, just because someone appears happy all the time doesnt mean they are. I learned that lesson the hard way but you dont have to. Look for the signs and dont ignore them.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 11:33:29 +0000
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