Im reading other peoples terrible poop stories and found this chunky nugget of wat “I had just started a new job in Phoenix. The day before, I had eaten a whole tub of fresh mango that, in hindsight, was probably not all the way ripe yet. So I am at work and suddenly the shit sweats hit me. My body is screaming at me to pucker my butthole and hover my ass over a toilet ASAP! So I slowly get up from my desk (bungholio puckered real tight because I was afraid of rogue sharts) and I do the quick walk to the bathroom. Not too fast because then my co-workers might figure out that I am about to shit myself, but not too slow because it’s coming out whether I want it to or not. I have about 47 seconds to get across the sales floor and into the women’s bathroom. I get there. It’s packed full of ladies. Ladies not in the stalls doing business, but ladies chitchatting and primping in the mirror. GAWD! WHY!? My worst nightmare. FECK! I dash into a stall and barely get my pants down before the explosion of poo-slime covered WHOLE CHUNKS OF MANGO came shooting out my ass. It sounded like a muffled machine gun fire coming from the fourth stall in. There was no denying what was going on to anyone else in the bathroom. It was a wonderful first impression to make on all my fellow female co-workers. ‘Don’t mind me, I’m just the new girl shitting out undigested mango chunks, nice to make your acquaintance.’ I proceeded to do the ‘puckered-butthole-swift-walk-mango-machine-gun-shit’ four more times that day. It took me a good year before I was cool with mango again.” -Luna
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:26:39 +0000