Im so broken. Its become so obvious. Im emotionally destroyed and theres nothing to do except watch me fall apart. Each day it gets worse nothing ever gets better. Im so alone in this world and its really starting to get to me. I always have to remind myself that its my fault for people not liking me. Its all my fault. Im fat and ugly. Theres no one to blame but myself. Its so hard because no one knows the real me. No one knows what I have to deal with on a daily basis. No one knows anything about me. They know me as a bubbly, outgoing, and happy girl but thats not even close to what I am. Thats just an act. Thats just a lie. People always tell me to get over it but how could I get over something so cruel. I will NEVER get over all the bullying and words said to me. I will never forget the pain that I was in. I will never forget the night that I was in so much deep pain that I had to grab a razor and glide it across my wrist just so I could get the pain I deserved. Ill never forget the night I shoved my finger down my throat to make myself thin. I wont forget the day where I decided that only a bowl of oatmeal was the right amount to eat a day. Ill never forget the day my mom packed her things and left me alone. I wont forget the nights I cried myself to sleep with no one to tell me that it was all going to be okay. I wont forget the 30+ cuts on my arm that I did because I was so sad. Dont tell me to get over it when you know nothing. Do you think I like being this sad? No I dont but this sadness is all I have. This sadness has consumed me. And its too late to save me from it. -slowlydisintegrating-
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 02:35:01 +0000
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