Im tired and this is how I chose to spend my nevertheless wakeful early morning hours. This is an exceptionally long post on philosophical material. It has no academic value and probably wont improve your life in any way. In fact, I dont recommend reading it. It is purely the product of my own mind and I have not studied philosophy in school nor read the works of other philosophers. But, of course, I have my influences. But for those who are curious and are blessed with a long attention span, lets continue. Its not what I normally prefer to think about. Its a topic I find as tiresome as my current time-change shock from having just traveled back from Europe. Philosophy. I know, it is a broad topic, but Ill narrow it down. Essentially, it is meditation on human nature and, ultimately, who I am. Ok, so I havent really narrowed it much. But it is a subject I was fascinated by in high school, now over 15 years ago. I grew tired of the subject because the experience is like swimming in a whirlpool. You wanted to explore the depths, but youre just going in circles. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whirlpool It isnt until now that I am able to articulate why. In short: by beholding we become changed. It is an exact quote by the author Ellen G White. But it is similar to the point made in the Bible at 2 Corinthians 3:18. While at Auschwitz and the Anne Frank house, I heard several profound things. But one comes to mind. The Jews and other victims that experienced the Holocaust reacted in different ways. Some lost their faith, while others faith was strengthened. Regardless, the experience changed them. It doesnt matter what we focus on. Whether we focus on God or Evil or the exotic or the mundane, we become changed in small or great by what we see. Even identical twins, raised by the same parents and in the same community, will differ because they have a different perception. No two people can perceive the world in exactly the same way, therefor no two people can be the same. It is also progressive. The same thing perceived yesterday and today will change us differently because our past experiences influence our perception of todays. We are all made inevitably unique by this one fundamental truth: by beholding we become changed. So what happens when we behold ourselves? This is not somehow exempt from the same law. As we gaze at ourselves, we are changed. So if we study ourselves with the purpose to figure out who we are, then we will never achieve our goal - it is a moving target. Lets also consider the progressive variant on this truth. What we have seen before shapes what we see today. In other words, to a large extent, we only see what we expect to see (and what we expect is based on what we have seen). So, using an example, we may have seen many acts of bravery, and because this impresses us, we look at ourselves and emphasize the times when we may have been brave and de-emphasize or blind ourselves to the times when we are not. The result? Not only have we concluded that we are brave (regardless of whether or not this was actually true), but we have actually made ourselves more brave in the process - even if it is only a little. This may cause us to decide to do something brave, yet foolish, and, after facing the horrible consequences, change our minds about the merits of bravery. Now we look at ourselves and focus on all the times we have been weak or a coward before and conclude that this is what we truly are and embrace it. Can you see now why I found all this exhausting? It is especially tedious for those who try to approach self-study without bias. They apply the scientific method and see a world of contradictions. We see instances of bravery and cowardice. We see instances of laziness and great effort. We see instances of stupidity and brilliance. We see trends, but then we see trends change. All in a single individual. And finally we are confounded with the quaint notion of choice. Can we really decide who and what we are? Just to what extent does human nature, environment, and aptitude/genetics have on all of this? I am suddenly reminded of the movie I watched (and watched several times in the past, it is so good) on the plane yesterday: Minority Report. Its a science fiction film that explores this very topic of choice. Through a series of little experiences that changes us, we may find ourselves in a position where we make a choice to murder somebody. If we were told that we would perform this murder ahead of time (before the experiences changed us) we would find the very idea preposterous. But then the events unfold and we are changed. What do you choose then? If we were not warned that this would come to past, then the choice is pre-ordained. But now that we were warned, we no longer have to make that choice. We are changed by the very act and timing of being warned. Nevertheless, it doesnt prevent us from making the same choice. As a short diversion, this has a spiritual application. Just as Adam and Eve made a choice that set off a chain of events that inevitably leads to self-destruction by the human race, God intervened and warned us. Through His actions, we were given a choice to live, whereas before we had no choice. Of course, we can always ignore the warnings and choose death. So far in this discussion, I assert two conclusions based on the fundamental truth that by beholding, we become changed: 1) Like any animal, we can perceive our environment and become changed by it. The greater our ability to perceive our environment, the greater the degree it may change us. 2) Unique to humanity, we can perceive ourselves and, through our choices, have some influence over how we are changed by #1. The above may be blatantly obvious, even if it isnt normally articulated, so I proceed with the subject of my epiphany: 3) We cannot know ourselves since we are constantly changing, even by the very act of studying ourselves. 4) As a remedy to #3, to a large extent, we are who we want ourselves to be. That is, the choices we make, both external and internal, shape who we are. But we arent done yet. So far all we have discussed is environment and choice. We have not discussed human nature nor aptitude/genetics. I have something to say on human nature, but then I think Ill quit. Because, if I stopped now, I may give the impression that I think we have the ability to fully invent ourselves. No, both the conclusions in #2 and #4 provide limits on this ability. I think we can go far, but cannot fully free ourselves from the influence of our environment, human nature, and aptitude/genetics. Since I dont know the academic definitions, Ill apply my own definitions to these terms to make sure were on the same page: a) Environment. This is everything that we perceive through our 5 senses. It includes influence by other people, what we read, and further consideration (contrasting and comparing) of what we have learned. b) Human nature. This is everything that may be considered to be in common by ALL human beings, without exception. It may include spiritual ideas like evil or selfishness or human needs. c) aptitude/genetics. This is everything that may differentiate one person from another, without taking environment into consideration. In theory, two people with the same environment/experience (which is impossible) would still be unique because they possess different genetics and aptitudes (aptitudes may be determined by genetics). I assert that one of the characteristics of human nature is that we need community. So lets explore a fascinating article about a modern-day hermit. gq/news-politics/newsmakers/201409/the-last-true-hermit I call it fascinating because it is very well written. It holds the interest and does a good job of exploring the reasons why this hermit made the choices he did. But it is not fascinating in the sense that this man is any more special than anybody else. Rather, the mans simple life externally is an opportunity to get a better glimpse at the internal complexity. You can tell that the writer was seeking a better understanding of human nature. The hermit did not start out trying to be a hermit. He seemed to have a fairly normal, if introverted, upbringing. But then, seemingly randomly, he decided to just leave home at about 20-years-old. He severed all human contact and built himself a camp in the woods in Maine. Even through the bitter and long winters, he secluded himself at his camp, coming near death of cold and starvation many times while keeping himself alive by stealing from cabins and homes while people were away. He changed himself drastically. He had to learn to overcome his built-in scruples to steal. He had to learn to survive on his own. He kept it up for decades. Once caught, he spoke of how he would spend long hours and days and weeks and months watching fungus grow or going out in summer and float in the lake just staring at the sky. It seemed he did all this in a quest to find peace. And he thought he found it. But he didnt really. Though he shaped himself through his choices to a very large degree, he never managed to sever all interest in human contact. He read lots of books. He always felt bad for stealing from people. He was so ashamed that he couldnt speak when he was finally caught, despite overcoming his scruples to steal. He frequently repeated to the writer that he didnt want friends, nevertheless, he found plenty of excuses to explain his, albeit brief, attachment to the writer. It was evident that the hermit was ever in conflict with his human nature. So now for the next conclusion: 5) While it is not worth trying to figure out who we are, individually, it is worth trying to understand human nature. For it is a significant part of who we are that will never change. And to put this into balance with my spiritual world-view: 6) There is only one aspect of human nature that wasnt designed by God. It is our natural selfishness that may be called our evil nature and is born into every human being. While we cannot change our human nature, even our evil nature, but can only at best be at constant war with it, God is able and willing to replace our evil nature with a selfless one if we choose. Every other aspect of our human nature should be embraced to find true and lasting peace. Of course, the debate may go on with what exactly are the characteristics of our human nature. But thats enough for now. I cant say I have a talent for clearly expressing my thoughts, but Ill be happy to clarify my opinions or discuss them should anybody manage to get through all this.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 11:25:58 +0000
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