In 2006 I was travelling the English country site, well I spent a lot of time sitting on my sofa and staring at the Thames in London. Waiting for an impulse to do something. One day I decided to go to Bath, to visit an old park with beautiful trees, I had read about. I went to the train station and when I bought water, I saw this beautiful woman in the shop. She looked like an angel in her dress. I went to her and said: You are so beautiful... and she blushed. We talked a little and she said: I am an opera singer and on my way to a play... she asked me what I am doing and I replied: I am an opera singer too... and we laughed. She invited me to come to her play somewhere on the English coast and gave me her card and number. I said to her: I got a plan, I have to go and see the trees... she smiled now in a different way. I left her and found out, that I was on the wrong station. I needed to go to Paddington. On my way in the underground I was puzzled about what happened. I was reading Martin Bubers; I and you What to do? What to do? and saw an older very well dressed English gentleman sitting in my department. Martin Buber contemplated about human communication and that in an open dialogue something new can be born. I did not think much, took his advice and walked up to this gentleman and asked him whether I may ask him something. He replied: of course... and offered me to sit down. I explained my dilemma and whether I should follow my path or go to the woman and see her performance. He looked at me and was thoughtful and after a while he replied in a wonderful soft voice: I would never miss a chance to see an opera. and smiled at me. I felt that a door opened and I told him: Well, I could go of course to see the park and than travel to see the play. He smiled at me in a beautiful understanding way. I went to Padddington and took the train to Bath. Now years later, sitting here at my window in Kiev. Having the time to look deeper into what was going on in me. I realise that there was more than trees in a park that I wanted to see in Bath. Maybe I wanted to see that town that had been designed, transformed by the vision of one man. Looking down from his house on the town and decided to change the layout and designed it after his will. I visited his park and met a professor in history and his wife. She was a chatty chinese lady and he was there to confirm her words with a short nod a smile that I see in front of my eyes. We had deep conversation and she brought a lightness and a wisdom of the East to it. His smile carried us in the conversation. Created a beautiful space. We said our good byes, shared in the last words the fear of an illness and death. They waved me good bye, when I left Bath station. Another tram passes my window and I feel that I am not in Bath but here in Kiev. I arrived in time at Exmouth and went to the small community hall. There were not many people and I sat in the middle. The woman that had met had a small role. The play was: Lelisir damore a Donizetti work. The love of a poor worker for an indifferent landowners daughter. It is a beautiful play on love and the roads need to take to find it. The many elixirs one needs to buy and just to finally allow it to flow in ones life. During the play I felt in love with the main actress in the role of Adina. Of course, she was the focus of all attention and I identified with Nemorino and in the end I felt his love and a beautiful resolution. I was so taken by the piece, that I had forgotten about the what and why of my journey to Exmouth. After the show I felt lost. I was so touched by the main character that I now considered to see her. The sun set on that summer day and I went to the beach of Exmouth. I sat down next to an old lady on a bench. She noticed me but did not look up. She seemed concentrated and looked at something ahead of her. I saw the two seagulls. I felt calm next to her and settled to rest a little. Now she turned to me and I glimpsed a smile, returned it with my way to bright grin. She turned away and I joined her watching the seagulls right in front of us. A nature play unfolded in front of us. There was a mother and a young seagull. The mother had a big fish and the young one was aiming for it. The young one looked awfully hungry and screamed terribly loud. The mother did not want to give him the fish. He or she got in times very angry. Run around now collecting stones and bringing them to the mother. Every time trying to get the fish but the mother kept it for herself. It was such a tragic play. The old lady looked at me and said in a very thin voice to me: it is natures way to teach them... Suddenly the mother swallowed the fish and was flying on another bench. Now the little one was so sad and run around with hanging head. Still collecting stones and bring it to the place where the mother had been before. Collecting stones, repeating that pattern until he suddenly calmed down and took off to the sea. There was a silence in the air. The old lady nodded something to me, smiled and left me on the bench behind. I stared at the shore. I noticed the colours now in the setting sunlight. I had not much with me, a small bag with pencils and paper. I took the pencils and laid them out on the bench. I started to draw a little picture of the coastline. I could not stop it from changing all the time. The sun set slowly and yet to fast for me. I could not hold it and I started to cry on my paper. The sun was gone and a fresh wind from the sea made me aware. I sat there drawing for a while and mixing tears with the colours and was surprised how they changed. Washed away. Later on lights behind me through my shadows ahead of me and I looked around and saw a Hotel. I left my bench and checked into a room with a view on the beach. I had dinner in the Hotel and went after to an old pub in the centre. I sat with men at the bar. Not many questions asked, not many words needed. They looked at me and asked me where I was from and after a few words, I felt accepted and we were drinking together until late. The next morning I tried to catch the morning light. Tried to draw the shifting moving landscapes. Tried to catch a moment, that had past away. Only in 2008 I would learn in Esalen about landscape painting, the changing light and the colours. That the sea and sky is more than blue. The forest and fields are more than green. My walk in the park, turned into days in Exmouth. I had forgotten about the women, the Bath planner and drifted between Hotel and beach, walking the hills around that town and at night I would just sit at the bar, without a word. I have no names in my mind. I remember that men, the worker that had their pints, some had too many. I see faces coming up. I smell them and I can feel their tired bodies. Lost dreams drowned in a pint of ail or lager. I did not say good bye to them, did not need to tell them or find excuses for what I do with my life. I felt home with them. One morning I decided to leave. The Hotel staff had got used to me. I felt as well home in that small but very luxurious place. The owner came to say good bye and I had a long conversation about slow food with the cook at my breakfast table. I did not know where to go. I wanted to buy some cloth that morning. I had brought nothing, just a tooth brush. I was struck to find so many second hand shops in Exmouth. When I was standing with a feeling of being lost in one of the shops a woman approached me. I told her about the shops and she said: Well the economy down here is not the best. I left Exmouth with a strange feeling that day and had a spark of Somerset coming to my mind. I visited castles, parks and walked through the magical landscapes of Somerset. I stayed in old pubs and B&Bs on the way and met many different people. I found remarkable moments with many. Beautiful faces of women working as gardener in the many heritage gardens i visited. Conversations about the gardens and in times I did as well some tree hugging. Mostly in a late afternoon melancholy, dipping into the blue hours. After some time I found myself sitting on a bench, somewhere in a village and I noticed. I wanted to go for a day to see that park and that had been over a week ago. I took the next train and went home to London. Sat down at my sofa and reflected for weeks on my journey and tried to grasp: What, how and why I had done that... Later at DDI I learnt about the Aboriginis and walk abouts. When something calls us and we leave all behind to go for the calling, until we find that answer and touch down with a different reality again. I feel now that my walkabouts are like a spiral and I sit here in my window, look at the square, see St Andrews on the hill and just return to my reality again. It is time for tea on this grey November day and I feel I have worked something today. Week 115 on my way to become an artist. with much love from Kiev...
Posted on: Fri, 15 Nov 2013 14:04:21 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015