In His Hands “Heavenly Father I have tried to figure this all out on my own for so long now that I am weak and my body is tired, I haven’t slept in days and food tastes and feel like poison in my mouth. My heart is heavier than a center block yet my chest feels empty. I feel like a joke has been told but I didn’t get it. It seems like everyone around me knows what is going on, but I don’t have a clue. There is a love in me that is unclaimed. Who does it belong to Lord, who is deserving of it? Who in the world did You predestine to receive this love? There are two different loves lying dormant within me. One feels like its wrapped around my heart while the other feels like my heart gave birth to it. What does this mean. I hate the fact that I am so lost. When I saw Dante’s grandchild I was hit with a tidal wave of emotion that I can’t remember owning although it felt familiar to me and that confuses me. Lord I am asking You for clarity, understanding, and mercy. I know that I have been missing and therefore, I missed out on something. Lord get me on track please. I have spoken with friends and family and everyone is telling me all types of things like my name is really Tameka, I have a daughter, and a grandmother that raised me. All of that confused me. I felt that I was beginning to understand until I ran into some people at the mall and they were so happy to see me, I felt so bad because I had never seen them a day before in my life. They told me all about my daughter’s father, some guy named Rashard. They told me that me and that guy was deeply in love and engaged to be married. They told me that we were all friends, but they have to be lying, how could I forget about a guy that gave me a child or the man that I loved enough to marry. Lord, I am tired of listening to everyone else, I need to hear from You! I will sit still and wait to hear your voice on this matter. Your voice is the only one that can comfort me right now. Your voice is the only thing that can console me right now. I need You to tell me if I have been wrong, and if I have been wrong, I am begging for Your forgiveness. Please tell me that everything will be okay. In Your Almighty Name I Pray. . . .Amen. Tameka did something different than she had ever done after her prayer and that was sat still. Normally when she prayed she would get on the phone or cut her radio on, or leave the house and head to work or something. After this prayer she didn’t move, because she expected an answer, she finally understood the concept of conversation. She thought to herself how ridiculous it would be to ask someone a question and want an answer but walk away as soon as the question fell on their ears, or to ask a question to someone and then put some headphones on that were playing some very loud music. This time she would give God time to respond, and expected Him to do just that! She asked for forgiveness of her sins and asked God to take his rightful place in her heart. As her memory began to return she remembered how her grandma used to worship and the questions she use to ask her grandmother. “Grandma, why do you praise God when we don’t have any money?” “Tameka baby, people tend to praise God when He does something for them, and we have a lot to be thankful for. He didn’t have to wake us up this morning, but a lot of people believe that they wake themselves up in the morning so they won’t praise Him when they open their eyes and see the sun rise. I praise God for being able to swallow, blink my eyes, move my fingers, I try to thank Him for everything, especially those things we take for granted like swallowing and blinking. Imagine not being able to swallow or blink your eyes.” “That’s scary grandma.” “I know and even with no lights, I can swallow, so I give God praise! I worship God not for what He has done, but I worship God for who He is! Just like if the president of the United States walked into your school everyone would have to stand up whether they liked him or not or felt that he had done anything for them. They would have to stand simply because of who he is! We worship God because He is God! God is not the reason that we don’t have lights baby. At the end of the day its my fault, and even still He will eventually help me see a way to overcome this because He loves me despite the fact that I don’t do all the things I should. He loves us more than I love you and myself. I love you so much that no matter what you do in life, you will always be able to come to me and receive my love. God is the same way.” JJ had tears streaming down her face at the memory of her grandmother, a person that she had totally forgotten about, a person that loved her unconditionally. JJ remembered her name being Tameka and understood that her name must have been Tameka for real and that’s why her Grandma and those people that claimed to know her daughter’s father called her that. Tameka sat still as more memories started to come back to her mind, when all of a sudden she heard a soft but loud and clear voice speak to her. “YES BABY, YOUR NAME IS TAMEKA, AND YES I DO LOVE YOU! WHEN I CREATED YOU, I CREATED YOU STRONG, I CREATED YOU UNBREAKABLE, SOME DECISIONS YOU MADE CAUSED YOUR LIFE TO GO PLACES I NEVER INTENDED. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN MY HANDS. I ALLOWED YOU TO MAKE CERTAIN MISTAKES BECAUSE I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD SURVIVE THEM ALL, YOUR LIFE HAS NOT BEEN IN VAIN, BUT YOUR LIFE WILL BRING ME GLORY. I ALLOWED YOU TO FORGET SOMETHINGS FOR A WHILE SO THAT YOU COULD GROW IN ANOTHER DIRECTION. DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT KEISHA WHO IS YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER. SHE HAS GROWN WITH GREAT AMOUNTS OF LOVE AND DON’T FEEL BAD REUNITING WITH HER. I RELEASE YOU FROM ALL THE GUILT OF YOUR PAST. SHE CAN’T WAIT TO MEET YOU AND WILL NOT JUDGE YOU BABY GIRL. YOU COME FROM A PLACE IN ME THAT IS PURE LOVE AND THAT IS WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER WAS CREATED OUT OF AS WELL. I JUST NEED YOUR LIFE TO BE A WALKING BREATHING TESTIMONY OF MY RESTORATION POWER. I BLESS YOUR UNION WITH MY SON DANTE, YOU WILL BE APPROACHED BY HIM SOON AND ASKED A QUESTION. YOU ARE TO SAY YES! YOU ARE THE VERY WOMAN THAT I PREDESTINED AND ORDAINED FOR HIM TO FIND WHEN HE BECAME A MAN. HE HATH FOUND A GOOD THING IN FINDING YOU. . .I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD AND HAVE SEPARATED YOUR SINS FROM YOU AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST! GO FORWARD AND I WILL REVEAL THINGS FROM YOUR PAST AS YOU GO, CALL YOUR GRANDMA, SHE IS WAITING ON YOUR CALL. I JUST FINISHED TALKING TO HER AND I TOLD HER THAT YOU WOULD CALL TODAY, SHE IS SO HAPPY BECAUSE TO TALK TO YOU HAS BEEN HER PRAYER FOR OVER 17 YEARS YOUR TIME. SHE LOVES YOU AND SHE HAS LOVED YOUR DAUGHTER WITH A COMPLETE LOVE. I LOVE YOU TAMEKA, YOU ARE MY CHILD AND I HOPE THAT YOU WON’T HESITATE TO TALK TO ME AGAIN SOON. . . As Tameka looked to the ceiling in complete awe of His Presence, joy filled her soul and she felt guilt free and said to God, “Thank you Father! I will stay in constant contact with You, right now I have to call my Grandma.” Tameka picked up the phone and realized that she didn’t have the number. . . God was pleased that Tameka was totally dependent upon Him now and instead of looking for a phone book, she looked to Him, God smiled and layed her grandmother’s number on her heart, so she dialed it. . . . “Hello.” Tameka heard the voice of an angel on the other end of the phone and began crying tears of joy, “Hey Grandma, its me Tameka. . . . Because of him things are better than they used to be. “Which one of ya’ll told him that I was here?” “That him, Donald is your son and ya’ll need to talk, I have tried to be a loyal wife and follow your lead but I miss my son honey.” “Regina, that boy stopped being my son a long time ago.” Brian had never known why his father and his grandparents didn’t get along, and now he had a chance to find out, “Hey Uncle James can you go and check on my father for me?” “I’m already on it, I was just trying to figure out what was going on, now I see. Mr. and Mrs. Washington, my name is James and it was nice meeting you both, hopefully I will get to see you again soon, and under better circumstances. Brian, I will be outside with your father.” Regina smiled and nodded at James while Donald rolled his eyes and gazed out of the window in protest to all that had just happened. “You called him Gina didn’t you?” “No, grandpa I bought him here, what’s wrong with ya’ll anyway, I won’t leave here today until I find out. Everytime I ask my father he tells me to ask you, and when I ask you, you tell me to ask him. I want some answers today.” “Oh so you want some answers huh, well Ok, that boy and I don’t get along plain and simple. He don’t listen! He has always thought he knew everything and that’s why he ended up the way he did?” Brian was a little confused by his grandfather’s comment, “What you mean by that?” Brian’s grandmother looked like she had seen a ghost and pleaded with her husband, “Donald don’t! “Naw Gina, this boy is grown now and it’s time he knew what a hard head gets you out of life. Your father never listened to me Brian, that is the reason that he got hurt in high school and messed his career all up.” “Grandpa, I thought he got hit by a drunk driver as he was walking down the street from practice, how was that his fault.” “He should have never been walking, I told him to call me when practice was over and I would come and picked him up. Then he just gave up on the game when I told him to go to rehab. Even at 75 percent your father was better than everyone else, he was special. Had he listened to me he would be more than a doctor at a community hospital. He would have a couple million to retire with by now.” At that moment Brian realized that his grandparents didn’t know much about their son at all. Brian saw the rage in grandfather’s eyes. Brian continued to listen. “Now Brian you know that we love you with all we got, but even you were the result of your father not listening to us. We tried to have a relationship with him even after he went to school to be a dumb doctor against my wishes. He met up with that no good mother of yours, Simone.” “Come on Don, don’t talk about the child’s mother like that.” “Come on Gina, that boy know his mamma ain’t no good, that’s why he went to go live with Tae when he was bout ten years old. She aint nothing but a gold digger, and I told that dumb boy that and he went and got her pregnant anyway.” Brian was numb when it came to people talking about his mother, but it did feel kinda strange to him that his grandparents saw him as a mistake. Brian looked past that moment of pain and said, “So you believe that my father has failed in life because he didn’t go on to be a famous soccer player.” “Yes, because when I lost everything in the stock market his freshman year, he could have helped me bounce back, but no, he wasted a God given ability to be average. Seems like he purposely went against everything I wanted for him.” Brian couldn’t believe that his grandfather looked at his son as average and continued to listen. “When my parents got sick Brian, I worked extra hard to take care of them, your father can barely help himself on that salary and a money hungry baby momma.” “Don, how do you know how much the boy makes?” “He works for the state, it’s public knowledge, and although it’s more than average, it still aint nothing. Nothing compare to what he could have if he had only listened to me. Look at me Gina, father of one of the greatest athletes ever born turned community physician sitting in the nastiest nursing home in the world because I have no family to speak anything different over my life.” Brian understood that his grandfather was living thru his son, and was hurt that he didn’t do what he wanted him to do, and because of his attitude, had missed out completely on all that his “average” son had become. “See Brian I worked hard, to take care of my family and parents until they passed. I worked hard to send your father to the best schools and took risks in the stock market to send him to the best camps and bought him all he needed to feel successful, gave him more than I ever dreamed of having. I did all of that as an investment into all of our futures and what has it gotten me, nothing but a loving grandson, that works at a Burger King. I would be homeless if I hadn’t made one of the moves I made in the market years ago and didn’t get a monthly commission check from that investment.” Donald rolled over in his bed to put his back to Regina and Brian and looked out of window. Brian walked over and kissed his grandfather on the forehead and then hugged his grandmother whose eyes screamed, “I’m sorry baby, forgive him, he is frustrated with his life.” Brian smiled through the most pain he had ever felt and headed for the door with tears cascading down his cheeks to his chin. Never turning around to hide his pain from them, Brian said in the most natural voice he could find, “See ya’ll tomorrow, I love ya’ll.” Brian had been there every day for the last two weeks and had no plans on stopping because his grandfather was upset with the decision he made in life. Brian decided he would love him through his pain. Brian walked down the hall and was reminded as to why he really had nothing to be sad about, when he saw his newly found friend Jay who sat in the wheelchair in his normal corner listening to an old cassette walk man. Jay was way too young to be to be in a nursing home in his opinion; he was only in his thirties. He needed around the clock care though, “Yo, what’s up bruh, how you feeling today?” “Oh, what’s up Brian, I’m good man, just sitting here thinking about life and the decisions I have made and thankful that God has given me a second chance. I was sitting here thinking of starting a Bible study group here.” “Aw man, I think that would be nice, I know that I would come.” “Would you really?” “Absoloutely.” “That would be nice of you Brian.” “Just let me know when you will get it started, I gotta go and find my dad, but I will see you tomorrow, you need me to bring you anything? “Yeah, a couple of Bibles please.” “You got it! See you tomorrow.” When Brian got outside he saw his Father and James talking and laughing as if nothing had happened. Brian didn’t even want to bring it up because they seemed to be having such a good time, so he decided to leave it all alone. He only wanted to know why his father wouldn’t help his parents out regardless of how they felt about him. He wondered about this only for a few seconds before his father spoke. “Son, I don’t really mess with my father because he has such narrow vision, my mother is cool, but I don’t really get to talk to her much because she is so loyal to him. I asked them years ago if I could help them and they told me that they did not need my help. James and I created this fake investment that would pay him the rest of his life so that they would be taken care of, but I didn’t know that he had gotten sick or anything, and definitely didn’t know that he needed to be placed in a nursing home. Brian this is what we will do, tomorrow take him home and tell him that you found a government program that will fund his around the clock care. We already called the hospital and they are setting up a room in the house with the latest technology, equipment and furniture so that he will be comfortable.” Brian loved his father, but really admired him in this moment. “Hey da, I was wondering if we could do something for some of the other people that live here? I have come to know some of them and I feel a little bad for them and the situation they are forced to live with. “You know what son, you have a good heart and I am proud of you, James and I were just talking about that very thing. To be honest I was just thinking about my family at first and then James the humanitarian asked me that now that my father would be straight, what could we do for everyone else living in this sorry excuse for an assisted living situation. The only thing we could come up with is tearing this mess down and building a new facility. So Brian you are in charge, I will give you the corporate account information, you have seven days to get this crap torn down and built back up, and build it like you would build it if you had to stay there. First thing you have to do is find a place for all the people to live for a week.” Oh ok, I will get right on that. I believe I will go and get my man Jay and let him stay with me for a week. I really like this guy.” Once Jay was in the truck securely and they were all headed back to the hospital, Dante looked back over to his son and said, “There was something that I had to tell you earlier, and I feel like there is no need to hold off any longer, but JJ is Keisha’s mother. Somehow a while ago she lost her memory and it just came back to her when she met B2.” Brian couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He knew that he had to tell wife and that Jay wouldn’t be able to stay with him until he had time to work through this discovery but figured he would just introduce Jay to Keisha and take him to the place he would arrange for everyone else from the home to live until their building got finished. Brian wheeled Jay to the front door of his home overwhelmed with emotion so that he could introduce his wife to his friend before he took him to the assisted living community downtown. When he opened the door he was met by his wife that was full of joy, “Hey honey, you will never believe this, JJ that is dating your father is my momma!” Relieved that he didn’t have to tell her himself, “Really! How do you know that?” “She called grandma, and grandma invited her over and I met her, Brian she is so beautiful!” “Oh I know, where she at!” “You better watch it boy.” They both laughed, Brian then grabbed his wife and held her tightly, he was so happy for her. Tears of joy streamed down her face, Brian asked, “Where are they now?” “Oh yeah, they are in the back in the pool house, c’mon lets go so you can meet her! “Oh Lord, I almost forgot, this is my friend Jay, I wanted you to meet him, I met him at the nursing home where granddaddy was staying.” “Was?” “Yeah was, I’ll exlplain it all to you later on.” “OK honey, well it’s a pleasure meeting you Mr. Jay, I apologize for not acknowledging you earlier, this is just an exciting day in my life, please forgive me. Jay saw something very familiar about Keisha, a pain hit his abdomen and asked Brian if he could take him back to the nursing home. Brian saw the urgency in his face and told Keisha that he would be right back and did what Jay asked of him. Just as they pulled off, Tameka walked in the house and saw Brian pulling off and asked her daughter, “Was that Brian baby, where is he going?” “He is taking his friend Jay back to the nursing home he isn’t feeling all that well.” “Oh yeah that guy in his truck looked familiar, what’s his name?” “I believe his name is Jay, or something like that, Brian just met him last week at the nursing home that his father was living in for a while.” “Was he in a wheelchair?” “Yes he was, do you know him J, I mean, Tame, I mean Momma, do you know him Momma?” Tameka paused at the sound of being called Momma, and it felt right to her, and said, “I think so. . .but finish telling me how you met Brian. . . Grandma walked in on her two girls talking like long time friends and was completely happy for the first time in a very long time. . . ~~ “Hey hey hey RararRAh, wh why sss so many pe pe people got th th they li li lights on, its dad a day time?” “Big Tim, that is in tribute to Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” “O ooooOh.” Ricky said, “Man, I don’t know why everyone is still talking bout this dude so hard, stuff aint like it used to be, people aint even prejudice like talking bout it no more.” “WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAT, yo Ricky you stupid or something, things have gotten a little better but we have a very long way to go aint that right Rah?” “Yeah Jamaal is right, things are better, but we still have more to overcome as a people. The main problem with us is that we can’t get along together as we should. We quick to blame nameless white faces for all of our problems and struggles and we continue to live up to the stereotypes that the world has placed on us. We call each other niggah, when Martin Luther King died fighting for the respect that would make the word obsolete, yet we keep it alive, making a mockery of what the man lived and died for to say the least. People cut their lights on in remembrance of the dream and the dreamer! That man did more for the world in just 39 years of life than most would do if they had ten life times. Instead of riding off into the sunset with his degrees to obtain money and unmatched success up north, he decided to become a vehicle for change in the south. Today we honor a man not perfect as Christ was but perfect in his pursuit of equality. One man stood with others against a nation’s ideology and made a difference. Because of his life we can live our lives the way we want, but most of us choose to live it behind bars and unemployed. Some choose to live it walking down the street with their pants below their butts, and dare someone to say something to them, exploiting and mistreating the freedom Dr. Martin Luther King died in pursuit of in hopes that the generations that would follow him would live life at a higher level. Sadly many choose to live in slavery, a state worst than when King marched. Slavery not to the white man, but in slavery of a complacent mind.” “Yo, Rah that’s deep man, I won’t use the “n” word no more, I promise ya’ll that for real.” “That’s cool Rick, we will talk more about it, right now we out here deep in the country super lost! Jamaal that GPS not working out here is it?” “Nope, I got no signal, we must be too far from a tower or something.” “Wh wh what ti time the we we wedding? “Big Tim it starts at 4, so we got some time to get there, but we don’t have a lot of time. The next house or church we see, we will ask for better directions. Yo, Rick did you call and check on the dudes we dropped off at he hospital.” “Awww man I forgot all about it!” “Don’t worry about it they will be there when we get back.” “Hey Rah, there are a lot of cars at that church right there, maybe that’s it!” “Well let’s check it out, if it is not, they will know how to get to the one we need.” **Inside the church** “We are a little disappointed today folks because we normally like to dedicate three nigger boys on Nigger King day, but we only have one! God is good though because we do have one, so we will be thankful! Today we sacrifice this young man, I think the nigger said he was two, but they so dumb he might be four or five, any way it don’t matter. If everyone would remove your hoods for prayer, we can send this child back to where ever they make mistakes. Let us pray, All knowing God, for some reason you only wanted us to send back one this day, I guess with them killing themselves so fast you getting over crowded, if you want more just send them to us.” Just then another voice said, “That will ne’er happen, even a nigger ain’t dumb enough to come to this neck of the woods.” Everyone laughed and calmed back down for the rest of the prayer. “ Any hoo as I raise this knife, I lift up our people that we may remain your chosen people and this will just be a symbol of our dedication and commitment to getting the world back the way you designed it to be.-- What in the Hell, oh wow God you work fast, Guys open your eyes we have four more dedications sent from heaven.” Rah and his crew could not believe what they had just walked into, but went into survival mode, for this was no time for fear, “Wait for me.” Rah commanded. “Hey we just want the little man and we will be on our way. It was not our intention to interrupt your service and we apologize.” Big Tim was furious at Rah for saying he was sorry, but trusted Rah’s judgement and didn’t move a muscle. “This nigger stupid as Hell, you must must be the dumbest boy I have ever had the displeasure of meeting, this young man was sent to us by God and so were you. He and you four ain’t going no where but to hell.” Rah looked around and saw that they all just had knives, they must not bring guns in their sanctuary. “Again we don’t want any problems, but I have to tell you that we can be a problem for you. We can leave though, but we will not leave without little man.” The Grand Wizard couldn’t believe that this boy was talking to him like this and his face turned beet red! “Tie these niggers up” “Just don’t kill them yet. Rah quietly said, Ricky dont kill them. Ricky reached for his guns that sat criss crossed in his lower back and within seconds had shot everyone in their right shoulders. Rah told Jamaal to go do his thing. Jamaal ran out of the church. Big Tim went to go get the little boy from off of the alter they had made. Some of the stronger guys went to grab Big Tim and Tim shattered their jaws, eye sockets, and noses with blows that came from one of the most naturally strong men that God had ever created. Once the young man was safe with them Rah began to speak. Telling them that things don’t have to be like this and that God loves each and every one of his children be they black or white. He begged them to tell him that they would stop these acts. The Grand wizard said they would carry out their mission of killing niggers until they died. Rah was sad to hear this and asked if his words had changed or softened any of their hearts. Three guys with tears running down their faces admitted that they were wrong. Rah told them to leave with him then and they agreed. “You nigger loving traitors, you sinning against God, and now we will get you, you are dead to us, your family is as good as dead too!” Rah looked at the men, saw the concern on their faces and said, “Don’t worry about that, let’s go, Rick immobilize the rest of them and meet us at the car. Rick went and shot the rest of them in the groin making sure they wouldn’t leave the church. Rah had the guys follow him down the road and Rah told the guys that he really respected them for going against all they had ever known and doing what was right and gave each one of them a $1000 for their families and Rah gave them a number to call in case they needed another church built for real worship of Jesus Christ, the lover and creator of us all. “No Brother Raheim, that won’t be necessary, regular church goes on there on Sunday, the Pastor of the church don’t even know what goes on there during the week when we are there, we will clean it up and it will be fine.” Rah pulled out his phone and said, “no Brother John you don’t understand, Rah dialed the number 9-1-1 and simultaneous with the tone of the last number dialed, the loudest explosion took place back where the church was, they looked back and saw a mushroom of smoke fill the air above were the church once sat. . . Jamaal sat in the car proud of his work. . . . John said, “Let me make sure I have the number right. . .
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 21:32:13 +0000
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