In a Relationship with a Narcissist? Here are some of the key things to watch for: Excessive charm: Question a person that seems too good to be true. Narcissists are masters at wooing their female targets. If you are receiving tickets to your favorite ballet and bouquets of flowers larger than your Christmas tree before the third date, you may be dating a narcissist. Offers to whisk you away to Paris for New Year’s Eve are fabulous but could be considered odd behavior if you just met last week! Overly confident: A healthy dose of self-esteem is a good thing but be cautious if he seems to be the president of his own fan club. In short order, you will likely to become the secretary of his fan club. Haughty: This was one of the main warning signs that I brushed under the rug. Watch for elitist comments and an attitude of arrogance toward those who are “beneath” him. Narcissists will often put down co-workers, friends and even family members. Bragging: Narcissists do not care about your feelings, views or opinions. Narcissists are generally too obsessed about telling you how great they are to even ask about you. Their bragging rights carry over to a wide variety of topics including their family, money, cars, physical appearance, elite gym memberships, clothing, and their career. Grandiosity: Narcissists seem to live the phrase, “Go big or go home.” They like to be seen and known. Grandiosity is often their middle name. A narcissist will pick up an enormous group dinner tab or buy everyone in the bar a round of shots. Their motivation is to be showy and attract attention. These gestures could be interpreted as kindness, which is the furthest thing from the truth. While a narcissist is signing the tab for dinner, he is simultaneously scanning the group to take inventory on how he can personally use each person whether it is to maintain his inflated self-image or for elevation in prestige or status. Success: There is a reason why the political and celebrity arenas are brimming over with narcissists. Narcissists are often found in leadership roles where they have free reign to dominate and dazzle those around them. They flourish in big cities where there is less accountability and less risk of developing a reputation that will follow them. The Band-aid: Narcissists are professional Band-aids. They will seek out your weaknesses (abandonment issues, self-image issues, etc.) and will morph themselves into your savior. Whatever voids you have, they will fill. This sounds great except for the fact that it is short-lived. Once you are hooked on them, they will rip off the Band-aid and leave you bleeding. Hypersensitivity: Fluctuations between extreme confidence and extreme insecurity seem to be a common trait with narcissists. They will often imagine non-existent criticism and will act out by shutting down and sulking, or acting out in a rage. Any perceived attack or criticism of the narcissist is not dealt with in a healthy, normal way. In his mind, you are either with him or against him and there is no gray area.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 13:01:26 +0000
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