In case youre wondering what Ive been doing during the - TopicsExpress

In case youre wondering what Ive been doing during the convalescence required after the cabinet dudes at my new house tried to kill me, heres a partial list: Eating free foods that Ive guilted people into bringing me Learning about wood (tree wood, not man wood, you disgusting turds) Watching YouTube videos wherein people fall down way less funnily than me Training The Cat to attack cabinet dudes Watching Parks and Rec, which Id never seen until I recently saw Chris Pratt on Jimmy Kimmel and decided that he would land the highly coveted position of my imaginary boyfriend. How had I never watched this show? Its genius. Working on my Firestarter powers. And also that thing where you move stuff with your mind. I need to excel at both of these skills so that I can bring all the free guilt food to my face hole without moving, and also so I can make the cabinet dudes fall down my stairs.

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