In going through my Vintage Christmas Card stash...I found the following and thought it so cute I decided to share it with you all! IF I WERE SANTA ( For women past 40) Id dump these valuable gifts at your door... The gifts you have lost, that you cherished of yore... Id deliver to you all the maidenly vigor... That goes along with a size 12 figger... Restore the old color that once graced your hair... Before rinses and bleaches took residence there... Id draw in your tummy and smooth down your back... until youd be a dream in those close fitting slacks... So that things now suspended need not be uplifted... Id remove all the wrinkles...leave only one chin... So you wouldnt spend days rubbing grease on your skin. You wouldnt have flashes, or queer dizzy spells... You wouldnt hear noises or ringing of bells... No searching of closets to find all your clothes... No hunting of spectacles, right on your nose. No shots in the hips, the arms or the fanny By a doctor who thinks youre a nervous old granny. Yes, if I were Santa, these things Id deliver: The romance of cupid with his little quivver, The light of the heart when the wolves start to whistle The joy of the spirit, as light as a thistle. But, alas, Im not Santa. Im simply just me... The martonliest matron you ever did see. I wish I could tell you the symptoms Ive got... But Im due at the doctor right now for a shot! Anonymous
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:05:23 +0000
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