In recent times, it seems there are only three measures of success: Money, looks, and fame. If you dont have one or all of them, you feel like things arent good enough, and perhaps you feel unlucky and cheated. But youre an ordinary person, and its hard to feel self-worth, self-respect, and self-esteem when you go to an everyday job in an everyday world. How do you find a sense of significance in a world that seems so very shallow? Read on below the jump for advice on feeling better about your life. How to be nice Being nice is often easier said than done. Getting through the day can be hard enough without having to go out of your way to smile at strangers and say please and thank you. So why do it? Being nice makes people feel good and paves the way to good relationships. If thats not enough, consider that it also helps you get what you want, since people are more inclined to help you if youre nice to them. Read on to learn how to start being nice. I-Smile. Smiling at people lets them know that you are pleasant. Look the person in the eye and give them a small smile or a wide grin - it doesnt matter which. This sets the mood of the encounter, and usually encourages the other person to smile back. If they dont, then maybe they are just having a bad day. Thats OK; being nice doesnt guarantee a positive response, but it usually helps. • Smile when you pass people in the street, when you buy something from a shop clerk, when you walk into school in the morning, or any time you make eye contact with someone else. • Smile even when youre feeling low. You can still be nice when youre in a bad mood. Why spread your negative energy to other people? II-Acknowledge other people. When youre walking past someone, even a stranger, acknowledge their presence with a simple hello or hi, or even just a wave or a nod in their direction. Letting people know you see them is nice; it makes people feel a little more special. • If youre walking through a crowded city, it can be hard to acknowledge everyone you pass. Try to at least be nice to the people you end up sitting next to on a bus or plane, or those who accidentally bump into you. • Say good morning to your fellow classmates and teachers or coworkers in the morning when you walk into school or your work place. Youll soon earn a reputation as a nice person. III-Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, dont push them to say more than they feel like saying. IV-Be a good listener. Listen when other people are talking to you. It isnt nice to just ignore other peoples opinions and stories. Give them time to speak, just as youd like them to give you time to speak if your positions were reversed. • If you find that someone is becoming rude or pushy, never put your hands on your mouth or make a rude face. Just politely wait for them to finish and change the topic after theyve discussed theirs. • Being nice doesnt mean letting yourself get pushed around. If youre talking to a stranger who starts to make you uncomfortable, its okay to excuse yourself and walk away. V-Be courteous. Always say please, thank you and youre welcome. Be patient, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect, even those you dont particularly want to get to know. • Dont forget to always say Excuse me instead of MOVE! when someones in your way. People arent the ground that you can just spit on, they are living beings like you. If you are respectful to that person, that person will usually act the same way. . If youre on public transportation and an elderly, disabled or pregnant person gets on board, offer your seat. Its the nice thing to do. • If you see someone in need of a little help picking up something he or she dropped or reaching something from a high shelf, help out. VI-Dont forget to be nice to animals. If you want to be a truly nice person, youve got to be nice to animals, too. Dont tease them or think of them as little robots you can treat however you want. Animals deserve respect just like other beings. • Never hit or otherwise hurt an animal, whether its your pet, someone else pet, a stray, or a wild animal. • Never tease an animal for your own amusement. This goes for bugs, spiders, mice, birds, squirrels, fish, and any other creatures you might come upon. • o If you find an animal or bug in your house, use a humane way of putting it outside or keeping the population down. -----------: Being Nice to People You Know----------- I-Be positive. When your friends look to you for advice or just to set the mood of a conversation, dont be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation. Cheer them up. There are two sides to every situation: the positive side and the negative side. Nice people help others see the bright side of things. • Praise your friends accomplishments. If your friend does a good job on a test or wins a prize, tell him or her congratulations! • Compliment your friends. If you have a friend who doesnt like her hair, tell her you think its gorgeous, or compliment her on her pretty smile. • Sometimes people need to let you negative steam. You can be positive and nice without being overly cheerful; make sure the tone of your feedback isnt out of touch with what your friend is trying to tell you. II-Be humble. Do you tend to look down your nose at people who are different or weird? Its not nice to believe that you are better than other people. Youre an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone. Everybody is equal, and when you talk about how great you are, you make others feel less valuable. • Dont brag or have a high ego. If you accomplished something great, thats certainly something to be proud of - just make sure to acknowledge the people who helped you along the way. • Dont judge people until you really know them. Dont make assumptions about people based on how they look or speak. Realize that first impressions dont always reveal the truth. III-Be sincere. Dont be nice as a means to an end. If you just want to be nice so that you can gain preferential treatment, its quite the opposite of being nice-its deceptive, shallow and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what. Be nice because you feel like you willingly want to. IV-Dont be two-faced. Dont talk about people and dont be a backstabber. Being nice to peoples faces helps you gain their trust, and youre betraying that if you talk about them behind their backs. Dont ever gossip about other people you dont like. Its bad karma, and it makes you look shallow, not nice. V-Fill your days with small acts of kindness. Those little, everyday things, like holding the door for a teacher you dont know, or smiling at someone who isnt always nice to you - they dont seem to matter much, but in the end, doing these will make you seem like a much nicer person. VI-Dont discriminate. Be equally nice to everyone. Maybe youre nice to your friends and teachers, but if you arent nice to people who arent cool or popular, youre not actually a nice person. 3-I-Offer to help. If you see your mom or dad struggling to juggle all the chores that need to be done, offer to help. Put others before yourself when you have energy and time to spare. Your nice acts will definitely be rewarded in the long run, so dont be self-centered. • Dont wait to be asked to help out. Learn how to spot times when other people are in need. • Find creative ways to help! Help your siblings with homework, listen to your spouses idea for a new project, make breakfast for your family, walk the dog, drive your sister to school, and so on. II-Learn how to share. Sharing can mean dividing your dessert in half to give some to your younger sibling, or it can mean giving up something bigger, like your time, space or words of wisdom. Being generous is part of what it means to be nice. Try not to take more than you give, and when you are able, give more than you take. III-Be reliable. Part of being nice to family members and others you love is being there for them in times of need. Respond to emails, answer the phone when people call, dont flake out on plans, and spend time talking when the other person asks you to listen. • If someone leaves you a message, call them back promptly. Its not nice to leave them hanging for days on end. • If you say youll be somewhere, be there. If you say youll do something, do it. Being flaky hurts peoples confidence in you, and its not a nice way to act. IV-Take the high road. Sometimes its not easy to be nice. Youll encounter situations that will test your ability to be a nice person. Even people you love may at times be flaky, judgmental, egotistical, selfish, or outright mean. Youve got to avoid sinking to their level. Dont turn from nice to cruel just because your patience is being tested. • If your brother or sister is trying to pick a fight, dont let it escalate on your behalf. Calm down and refuse to act mean. • When you become angry and feel youre going to act in a way that isnt nice, take it out in a different way instead of being cruel. Go for a run, beat up your pillow, or calm down with a video game. You have control over your actions and behavior. • »Try to do something nice, every day. Anonymously or not. Itll bring up your mood and will make someone else day. Its much easier to be nice when youre happy. • Dont laugh at other peoples mistakes and dont point out their faults too harshly. Its okay to joke, of course, but use your common sense; think about what youre about to say, and consider the fact that just because you may not be offended by a certain comment, others could be. • If you are really struggling with being nice to someone you really dont like, go imagine that person truly hurt or crying. If you think serves them right then you need to think deeper. If you would try to comfort them or save them, that usually changes hate to care. • Warnings • While being nice, do not be a total pushover. Compromise is good, but expect to be treated fairly. Dont be afraid to stand up for what is right and do not hesitate to defend someone. If you find that youre being considerate of someones time but they are not being considerate of yours, bow out as respectfully as you can and make yourself scarce. • You may have heard that It doesnt matter what someone looks like, but its whats on the inside that counts. This is partially true, but you only have one chance at meeting someone. If you are barbarous the first time, that is how youll be known. If you are friendly the first impression, people will know you as nice and sincere. • Be careful smiling or saying hi to someone who you have a bad background with. It can backfire and they may think your being sly and they may reply with a not very nice comment.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 11:18:35 +0000
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