Insert30 I stood by the door ndavele ndashushu nge speed ndabeka i coffies phezu kwento that ibinefile andyaz gama layo lanto rhuqwayo.I got closer kwelinye icala and i packed a kiss on her lips and inyembezi bezizehlela my friend was gone and caba ebezidubule entloko kuba she was bandaged caba she was breathing with oxygen now ibikhutshiwe nomtshini ubu off. I could not stay ixesha elininzi her mom was still crying ehleli phantsi with no voice coming utata kaLona uye wasuka wayomphakamisa and they went outside ndashiyeka alone i touched her hand and cried,it just killed me into yombona eleli phaya engaphili i just also wished to die ngalamzuzu i starred at her ndade ndashaker i just ran ndaphuma i was too hot and shaking ndaphuma phandle ndahlala kweny pavement and cried my lungs out [ndathi ndisakhala nando stood infront of me] Nando:whats wrong [watsho eguqa phambi kwam andamhoya he then opened his arms wasondela ndalilela kuye for about five munutes ebengathethinto ndanentloni i broke the hug and stood up] Nando:mila whatsup Me:my friend is no-more shes dead Nando:im so sorry [he held both my hands] I saw uDaddy coming ndasusa zandla zam and wiped my tears Me:bye [i walked to dad and he hugged me] Dad:masambe Me:where to Dad:im taking you home [wabamba my hand sahamba to the car sagoduka] I wanted nothing but to sleep so ndaphuma kqala emotweni isitixo besikum i opened and went straight e roomin yam ndavula ingubo ndazijula with clothes ndazogquma Dad:milani Me:ta Dad:ill be gone for ixeshana im going kulo Lona Me: okey Dad:do nothing stupid please mntanam Me:i wont Dad:im sorry [he closed the door wahamba] I stayed in bed ndizama ulala for about30 minutes but ndade ndalala kodwa ndavuka kwamsinya ndivuswa yindlala phofu i went e kitchen ndayokhangela into yotya and ate pha ekitchen. The fact that uLona akasekho came back ndaqponda that maybe im cursed or im not meant to be happy nanini nha i blamed my mother for everything i just wanted to die so that ndingazophinda ndive ntlungu i became angry and went in my dads room to find something ezondibulala nge speed but i found nothing i found i blades ezi azifaka kula machine yocheba indevu i took i blade ey 1,went in my room ndakhulula ndahamba nge underwear ne vest ndangena ezingubeni i took the blade i stratched my arm ndayijika ndazi cutter deeply and i was shaking ndingeva ntlungu i saw blood livuza i took my pj bottom ndazosula ngayo and went kwenye ingalo i did the same but zandizi cutter deep kwelicala kuba i was shaking kakhulu ngoku and crying laphuma kancinci kwelacala ndayijula phantsi iblade and the pj ndaguquka and slept i became cold ndishaker ndazogquma and slept ubuthongo. Ndavuswa ngutata Dad:milani marni [endishukumisa] Ndothuka Me:its cold please leave me [ndatsala ingubo again utata wazitsala and i was shaking again and bendisiva intlungu kengoku and igazi belomele ezingalweni ndingakwazi noyolula le bendiqale ngayo] Dad:what did you do Me:i..i don [amazinyo eqhaqhazela] Dad:no milani this is wrong phakama we going to the hospital Me:no tata i dont want to or you want me to die,im not going there im fine Dad:andizova ngawe milani [i brokedown and cried;utata waphuma and came back with izinto zondi cleaner and he cleaned me then wandibopha with bandages ndaright] Dad:dont do this again bbe undothusile i thought uyafa kuba ndingene apha uthetha into engavakaliyo but xandisabela you werent answering,ubuphupha ntoni Me:nothing [nyani ke i was not dreaming] Dad:i know mntanam lento ye friend yakho ikuphethe kakubi but im sure she would not like to see you die kanje ngaye im sure ufuna ukujonga ekulendawo akuyo and take care of her friend enguwe,and im here for you if you want to talk or express your feelings ubothetha nam i told you nakuqala. [I did not really want to die i just wanted the pain to go away from me and nyani after what i did to myself really made me feel better,it did nyani] Dad:lets go eat Me:im full Dad:ubutye ntoni Me:i made myself isonka Dad:esi usishiye pha sisoma [he forced me uba ndiyotya ke i wore i nighty then ndahamba ndayotya sityela e lounge with no tv on bekukubi nyani noku kutya kungekho mnandi] Me:ulona bamsephi kengoku Dad:e motuary thats where azohlala khona till angcwatywe Me:i want to see her Dad:no you cant Me:why Dad:no bbe please let her rest [we ate then sayolala he asked me to go sleep with him ndahamba ke salala soy two qha ndandingenabuthongo ndalala late kakhulu] I woke up utata enxiba in the morning ndaphakama Dad:uphakamuyaphi Me:im going to make you breakfast Dad:no lala ill eat emsebenzini Me: okey [ndahlala ke e bedin emane endibuza uba u right na sincokola wade wahamba] After emkile ndalungisa i bed and went to make mine ndatshayela xandingena e bathroom i heard i knock ndabhinqa i towel Me:ngubani [it was stha ndahamba ndovula,hes eyes were red ecaca hes been crying] Stha:i needed someone to talk to Me:sure [he got closer and touched my ass ndabhekela] Me:and now #Larnie
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 17:12:27 +0000
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