It can be as simple as a whistle, a hand gesture or a specific sentence that can be the trigger for a victim/survivor of #domseticviolence. Today I heard a very distinct, specific whistle, one I have only ever heard used by my ex husband and while I am usually fine, this took me right back and I had a panic attack. I am lucky that I have people I can contact to help me, I have learnt techniques to help me, I have support, but not everyone has that. It brought back the fear. I froze, my blood ran cold and my mind went blank. I sent a message to a close friend I happened to already be texting at the time and they took me step by step through what I needed to do. I could not function myself. Had it not been for them I would have broken down and cried on the spot, unable to move or think. I didnt see my ex. I think it was just a coincidence, but it terrified me. The fear I felt, its a frozen fear, making you incapable of doing anything. Dont ask those in violent situations why they stay. Unless you have been in that position, you can never understand the fear and the inability to act. I am a very strong person. I can talk about my experiences and not go back to where I was, but today, today I was back there. I am sharing this with you in the hope it helps you understand. If you know someone in this situation, be there for them, support them, help them, but dont judge them. Be aware that emotionally, financially, mentally and physically they have been stripped of everything and are probably in survival mode only. The logic when you are the victim is very different to the logic of those outside the situation. Im ok by the way. I was unsettled at the time, but am fine now. I just want people to be aware that overcoming something like domestic violence takes a long time and you never know what each day will bring.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 07:43:27 +0000
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