It occurs to me that my normal is fairly skewed. Liam was in full - TopicsExpress

It occurs to me that my normal is fairly skewed. Liam was in full on rage. I really wasnt thinking about myself, just blocking, redirecting, working through it. The Doctor: Would it help if I left the room? Me: Yes. Him: Before I go, do you feel safe? I sort of snapped back to reality...to how this must look to someone who isnt familiar with our brand of autism. To an onlooker, Im calmly taking an ass beating. Me: Yes. Im safe. He will be fine. I walked out to hear the doctor and nurse talking about my sainthood, how calm and cool I was with him while he was punching me and kicking. I couldnt help myself, Its not sainthood. Its conditioning. I could lose my cool right along with him. But, it doesnt help anything. I just breath, work my way through the chaos I feel, and try to ignore, block, and redirect as much as possible. If he gets a reaction that reinforces the behavior it only makes it worse. I appreciate the compliment though. *insert laugh* Im not sure they knew what I was talking about, but I do....Pretty sure some of you will too. #Autism #NotSaintHood

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