It really bothers me when people cite The Giving Tree as an example of parenting to which we all ought aspire. It benefits no one, least of all our children, to teach them that we should allow ourselves to become a lonely, sad, saggy stump for the sake of other peoples happiness. Im not saying its bad to be generous. Its good. This is not about that. On the face of it, it sounds heroic or romantic (or something) to give until you, have nothing left. But the reality is that if you only ever give in a relationship you never give the other person the opportunity to give back. Because the higher role of giver is claimed, all that is left to them is the lower role of receiver. You do not give them the chance to experience the joy of giving generously as well, and that is a gift that will truly make someones whole life better, whatever they end up having or doing. I seek to be generous, especially with my children. But I will not be cutting off all the branches keeping me alive (and bearing fruits that hopefully benefit them and other people) so they can go and buy things and make money and be happy.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 13:21:39 +0000
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