It seems nearly impossible to me that four years ago this evening I was sitting bedside to my dad holding his hand as he took his last breath here on earth. And then silence. Peace. Wasnt sure how to feel. Incredibly sad to say goodbye. Incredibly thankful he was surrounded by love and peace as he left. How does one rationalize when you have to process. And then almost 30 seconds after that last breath the phone rings. Its Adrienne asking whats wrong, hows grandpa? How do you tell your daughter that your father just died? Makes me laugh now, you see Adrienne and dad always were connected, even from her first breath. It gives me great comfort when she tells me of his visits in her dreams. She tells me how he helps her understand things when she cant. And I know hes always there with her. I get sad sometimes when I reach for the phone to call him and then realize... Oh yeah. To be honest I still have Dads cell phone in my contacts. Not that he ever used the damn thing! But then I know I dont need a phone anymore, we can chat any old time. And on the occasion I get those visits too (its a thing me and A share) I wake up feeling good. I know Im not alone, that Im not the only one that has had a parent die, but this is me and this is my family. When someone with such a large presence is gone, its not so easy to just be. I love and miss you everyday dad. ❤️ See ya in my dreams 😉
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 22:40:28 +0000
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