Its a recurring problem of mine, that Ive been unable to get traction on solving (my therapist hasnt been useful at solving it): Almost everything I do, especially in relationships, is pretty tightly controlled (Im actually something of a rigid-ass who cant relax), pretty carefully decided. But then, sometimes, Im comfortable enough to relax, or I have a weird way of looking at something which causes me to do something odd, or I (for whatever reason) simply represent a carefully-determined and not-lightly-taken decision as flippant, uncaring, and dismissive. I know that I will fail at being present all the time, but seriously, yall, WTF? How do I stop this bullshit? Im sick of doing this. Im sick of people thinking (and understandably so) that I dont care about them or their projects, that I dont see the weight of their work. {Hearing thankfully-fainter-than-they-have-often-been echoes of some pretty harsh self-talk right now, is all.}
Posted on: Sun, 16 Nov 2014 05:10:14 +0000
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