Its been a while since I have spoken about my mental health issues publicly. And I think its time to talk because Im trying to stop taking antidepressants...and I dont know yet whether Ill succeed. I stopped taking my antidepressants in the first week of December 2014. Not suddenly...I went on a proper action plan for slowly weaning myself off them. And yet, for the past month, Ive seen worsening symptoms - the kind I faced at the height of my depression. Ive had recurring thoughts of self-harm and strange visions. Im scared shitless and I have been for the past month. But Im also trying to finally be honest, brutally so, because facing what I was going through publicly helped me the last time I was in such a bad place. I havent spoken this openly - not in its entirety - even to my friends, because in a way I must have realised that admitting to them would first involve admitting to myself that things were bad. Maybe its too early to declare victory...on my plan to ultimately get better. But Ill take that. Im resuming appointments with my psychiatrist and therapist, now that the holiday season is over and theyre back. I cant call this a New Years resolution but I hope and wish that going off antidepressants this year will be first step towards a final resolution of my mental health issues. At least for this time.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 16:41:56 +0000
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