Ive been giving this Facebook Poke question (see below) a lot of thought -- thats probably a mistake from the get-go, but Im a recovering academic, I relapse occasionally -- and Ive come up with at least three separate levels of meaning: 1. A momentary power-manifestation in a dyadic relationship. The person giving the poke (hereafter, the poker) is proactively dominating the relationship with the person receiving the poke (hereafter, the pokee). Its like a bless you! after a sneeze -- who has the power, the blessor or the blessee? Same thing with a poke. This interpretation might explain why David sent Eric a poke (see comments below) and why Eric is reluctant to poke him back, kind of like the posturing that goes on before a bar fight either happens or doesnt happen. 2. A non-verbal flirtation ritual, as some of my experts argued. The analogy here would be Darla dropping her hankie near Alfalfa and checking his reaction (if she does this in front of the He-Man Woman Haters Club, there might be elements of interpretation #1 present, but they are subordinate to the flirtation motif). If the pokee isnt interested or even aware, he or she might poke back or might not. If he or she is equally adept at FB flirting and wants in the game, he or she would poke back and raise the ante with a flirtatious comment on the pokers Timeline. There are multiple levels of flirtatious rejoinders, ranging from the cute to the coy to double entendres with propositional subtexts, but thats a subject for another examination. Its sufficient at present to note that all rejoinders must be accompanied by a poke back. As in all instances of flirting behavior, there is risk involved for both parties. If the poker is less or more serious about the poke than the pokee, the imbalance is soon obvious, though typically neither party will acknowledge that verbally. Almost instantly, ambiguities and awkwardness increase exponentially. The analogy here is the ending of a phone call when both parties are waiting for the other to say goodbye. Or, if the poker was only running a series of tests anyway and gets bored, suddenly the pokee is sending a poke out into the void and wondering what went wrong. Because the human mind hates an unanswered question and because most of us constantly commit the subjective fallacy of assuming everyone else is as focused on us as we are, the pokee is suddenly inflicted with massive self-doubt and self-criticism (did I cross the line with that last joke? Was he/she not really flirting at all? Have I made a monumental ass out of myself?). 3. A simple hello, as other commentators advocated. But why a poke? Why not hello? Is there a semiotic difference, no matter how small, between a poke and a hello? Clearly more research is needed here. Finally, hard-core Freudians might see something in a poke that the rest of us might completely overlook, but I will leave that hermeneutical task to them.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 00:44:54 +0000
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