Ive been sitting here thinking of something I can say... some words that would make what Im feeling inside less selfish.... more selfless. Is it wrong to find guidance even in the death of another? I admit the last few years I stood on the sidelines of our community... I admit I didnt say everything I wanted to. Be there as much as I could have and I am and always will be sorry I broke a promise to show my face even though a poet I am not. These last few days Ive been watching a community mourn. I have mourned. I have watched people in pain and I have wondered... would I be missed like this? I have struggled... I have fought against the spiral trying to pull me down into oblivion. Some days I fight... some days I want nothing more than to let it drag me under and let myself drown. And then I see this... and I see the web... the community at its truly most beautiful. Without even being here you taught me... showed me. There are people out there who would hurt.. who would mourn... some of whom might never even find out what really happened as I just vanished from their lives. I see this and all I can say is... I want to swim. Thank you, Ryan Bellows
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:15:02 +0000
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