Ive been somewhat grouchy the past few days. I know my friends dont really understand why, but am hoping that this explanation will help. Im just letting the condition of my health bother me and I apologize to anyone that may have been in my path during this time. So here is what I feel: There reaches a point in ones life (especially with my medical background . . I was an RN) when you realize that there really is nothing that will change the injury that is causing the pain. It just has to be accepted. Which I have. I live with chronic pain every day. Everyone else that I meet think that they know of something that will fix me from magnets to everything else. What I really need is a new spine and until they come out with that surgery, I have to deal with what I have. Like it or not. It has affected everything from loosing my business to everything else. Including dating because no one wants someone that is broken. And people dont want to date people that dont make close to the same amount of money that they do these days either. So I have had to readjust my life to accommodate peoples inability to accept me as I am. Its a lonely walk, but one that I walk with God every day. I could not make this journey without him. My explanation about my pain is this . its like putting a dent in your fender that rubs your tire (my spine issues). You can paint it, buy new tires, but unless the dent is repaired properly, you will always have problems with the tire. Hope that makes sense. I have been told for 18 years now that I am not a surgical candidate, that there is nothing physical therapy can do to help, etc. Like it or not I have to accept it. Miracles do happen and if God so chooses to bless me in that way, I will accept it gladly. But sometimes people suffer because there is a reason. For me I think it is testimony, but that is an entirely other subject. Just wanted to share so that you can understand that I am not a negative person. I just sometimes tire of dealing with pain day in and day out. So far today has not been a very good day pain wise (which may be what brought on this post). Praying that everyone has a wonderful day. I realize that God loves me and He gives me wonderful friends to walk this road with. And I am grateful for every single one of you! Peace and blessings to you.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:51:22 +0000
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