Ive been thinking about all the mothers out there that have been hurt by a home birth midwife. Anyone thats on here knows I am one of them. You can read my story with all the horrible details. There is many of us out there but not very many of us are talking. Why is that? Im sure there is different reasons for different people but I keep meeting mothers who dont talk because they fear the way they will be treated. Many fear the responses from the natural birth followers and fear being judged. In case this doesnt seem right or look familiar to some of you, let me explain something Ive figured out. Believe it or not, the best way I can explain this is comparing the mothers to rape victims. Its like all of us are being violated and raped by serial offenders. Some of us try to reach out but are shamed saying we deserve it because we chose it. Thats what some people do to rape victims whem they blame them for wearing clothes that made the rapist want them more. It changes the victim into the offender and the offender into the victim. Its a complete role reversal. The women that are being raped, dont go to get help or speak out to stop this person from raping others. They live in fear and blame themselves. Does this sound familiar now? It does to me. My situation and life went public. I got to see what other people that never knew me thought about me. I was blamed and the midwife was supported. I was cast out as being a horrible mother to make the choices that ultimately killed my son, which was said to be against my midwifes direction. But the whole story was a lie and only came from one person trying to save her ass and keep the money I paid her. Ive been exposed and beaten down but there is nothing worse that anyone can do to me that hasnt already been done. The worst that could happen already happened when my son died. Too many of us are out there blaming ourselves for what someone we trusted did to us. It is not your fault that you did not know. It is not your fault that you trusted a person that pretended to be someone they are not. Many serial offenders get away with the pain they are causing because they manipulate the victim to believing it was the victims fault. If more of us stood up against the real people that should feel ashamed for what they have done, then people would see the truth and we could make changes for other people to never go through what we did. I stood up because its the right thing to do. Because another family could go through what I did and no one deserves that. I know its hard to talk about what we have been through but we wouldnt want a friend, a sister, a daughter, or any other person going through what we did because of what these people have done to us. Im saying all this because Im tired of people protecting these uneducated, selfish midwives but not caring about the families that go through the true pain. Where is our support or the places to go to for money to pay our medical bills and funeral expenses? They have a place that people donate money to but what about the real victims of home birth?! Where is the people that are standing up for us and doing the right thing? We as victims need to find each other and stand together because we are what those midwives fear the most. They fear being exposed and people knowing the truth about them. Its time for us to stop this ridiculous business that is hurting people by working towards changes to protect other women and families.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 23:35:46 +0000
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