Ive been uncharacteristically productive today in comparison to the last couple weeks. I attribute a good portion of this to my acknowledgement of my circumstances - Im used to denying, avoiding, and blocking out stressful things from my awareness because I falsely think I wont suffer from whatever it is if Im not obsessing over it. Truth is, its better to stare at it. Turn and face it and call it what it is. You cant prepare for something youre avoiding. Only once you acknowledge the problem can you begin troubleshooting. An old friend used to say, A closed mouth dont get fed. And she was right. I dont know how to acknowledge when I need help and asking for it is even more difficult. I have never had roots long enough in any community to even know what those word feel like but Im learning that with time and trust, those things are naturally occurring. Many people have offered assistance privately. Im digesting - its overwhelming to know I have such support. Thank you from the depths of my heart. Its going to be okay and I know this.
Posted on: Mon, 21 Apr 2014 05:40:40 +0000
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