Ive heard it said that real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. Its true. When all the butterflies have fluttered away and your wedding day becomes a distant memory, you will discover that youve married someone who is just as imperfect as you. And they, in turn, will come to learn that you have problems, insecurities, struggles, quirks--and body odor--just as real as theirs! Then you will realize that real love isnt just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling--its a deliberate choice--a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Of course, you dont choose who youre attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with. Our society places a lot of emphasis on feelings. We are taught that we should always follow our feelings and do whatever makes us happy. But feelings are very fickle and fleeting. Real love, on the other hand, is like the north star in the storms of life; it is constant, sure, and true. Whenever were lost and confused we can find strength in the love that we have chosen. Besides, life already offers us plenty of spontaneity: rejection, job loss, heartache, disappointment, despair, illness, and a host of other problems. We simply cant abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of life together. When my grandma was in her fifties, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a degenerative disease that disrupts the bodys ability to communicate with its nervous system. Within a few short years, Grandma had lost the ability to walk and was confined to a wheelchair. Grandpa, who was then the chief of police, retired two years earlier than planned in order to take care of Grandma. He helped her do everything--from getting around the house and visiting the doctor, to helping her take her medicine and bathe. In speaking about my grandma, Grandpa once told my mom, It hurts me to see her like this. You know, when I got married I thought that everything would be smooth sailing. I never imagined that I would have to help her change her catheter every day. But I do it and I dont mind it--because I love her. Love is so much more than some random, euphoric feeling. And real love isnt always fluffy, cute, and cuddly. More often than not, real love has its sleeves rolled up, dirt and grime smeared on its arms, and sweat dripping down its forehead. Real love asks us to do hard things--to forgive one another, to support each others dreams, to comfort in times of grief, or to care for family. Real love isnt easy--and its nothing like the wedding day--but its far more meaningful and wonderful. I recently came across this wonderful quote: No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice. Whenever my wife and I run into a problem in our marriage we do our best to choose love. While were certainly not perfect, the love we share today is more real and more wonderful than anything we had ever anticipated. So, whatever spontaneous storm may come our way I plan on loving my wife. If you truly love someone (and they truly love you), commit to that love and plan on it being hard work. But also plan on it being the most rewarding work of your life. This article was originally published on SethAdamSmith
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 18:36:30 +0000
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