I’m not good with words. Hopefully, for this one moment in time that can change because I actually want these words to mean something. My family lost its matriarch last night when my granny died. Ive lived with her all my life, she was my mother, friend, teacher, debater, storyteller, master banana pudding maker, and any other er I could possibly want and ask for in a granny. She helped raised me and I owe her more than I could ever pay. No one was more unintentionally funny than my granny, any funny story that people who knew her have- comes from her not trying to amuse, just her being Rosa Mae Ellsberry, I love that- as important as her raising me was, THAT trait, selfishly, was my favorite thing about her. I still can’t believe life is supposed to go on without her, with no pause, or timeout, I can’t even be excused from Math next week! She was a constant presence in my life that’s gone now. I’m a mopey sack of mope, and when I think I’m better, a memory, or thing, or the not smell of breakfast being made for me this morning, brings me down again. I’ll get better though, because I have to, and because it’d be a disservice to her if I let this heartbreak hold me down too long. As much as we still want her here, we just don’t need her anymore (That was a bastard to write). She has done everything and then some for us, nothing left for her to do here. She accomplished everything a person can hope to accomplish in life, and left a legacy that’ll continue to honor her. If there was any more she felt she HAD to do for us, I know in my heart she would still be here. Granny built my foundation and the best thing I can do is take what she built and build on it, and try to make her proud, not all the times though! A Lance that makes his granny (Or anybody) proud 100% of the time is obviously a robot or shapeshifting alien, and should not be trusted! ...When asked about the stories he likes to write my favorite storyteller Joss Whedon said, make it dark, make it grim, make it tough but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.” I believe that can be paraphrased to life. No matter how bad things get, don’t lose your sense of humor, don’t lose yourself, especially when mourning a loved one, remain the person they loved, unless you suck, then… you know, change some things... Life is hard, short, stupid, weird and ironic and deserves to be laughed at! Sense of humor is honestly the best and most interesting thing us meat bags have, that’s probably more of a personal opinion though. My family both blood and extended are much smarter and better with words than me and I intended on just sharing everything they wrote, because I totally ditto there sentiments, and could write nothing better, but I felt compelled to write something for myself, and it kind of went on longer than I intended… sorry. Thanks for bearing with me. I love you granny and will miss the hell out of you. I know you’ll be rolling your eyes at me from heaven, I just hope I can make you smile too. Love always, your one and only Buffalo Butt- Lance
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 13:27:27 +0000
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