I’m teetering atop my soap box again today, and I will be redundant. Nope, not going to harp on the “phony” scandals or even call a slimy liar, “deceptive and misleading.” Instead, I’m back on them blue and white Charmin toilet paper bears. I know, I know, I do seem obsessed with those anal fixated beasts. But it’s the latest commercial that has me on them again: Mama bear cleans little bear’s room. Little bear walks in after she finishes, leans down and looks under the bead and tells her she did a good job. As he bends, mama looks at his butt and says, something like, “So did you little guy.” I can’t believe that sells toilet paper. “Hey, Mabel Bell, won’t you get some dat ass-wipe that those bears use.” No, if they really want to push some rolls, they need to hire two old cowboys to be their national spokes-dudes. Script: two old men riding side by side on horseback. Keith: Pard, you seem to be slumping in the saddle today. Pat: Well, you know, everybody goes, and I just want to enjoy the go, but my butt hurts. Keith whips out a roll of Charmin from beneath this hat: Try Charmin, Pat, it will make your butt smile. End script. See, that would be their new slogan. Yes, I know butts can’t smile. However, I also know bears don’t wipe their butts. So there. I’m out of here.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Aug 2013 11:36:47 +0000