I’m thinking about this fierce lady today. I’ve spent all but a few Christmas Eves with her throughout my life, and there just won’t be as much laughter tonight without her. In her memory, I’ve put together a list of some pearls of wisdom from my straight shooting, unabashedly opinionated grandmother, Lillian Skord: 1. “Sleep when you’re dead” (whenever anyone tried to take a nap) 2. “The past is for losers” (whenever you asked her about something that happened before you were born) 3. “They were all a bunch of drunks, forget em” (when asked about her many deceased siblings) 4. “There are no pockets in a coffin, don’t be stingy” (every time she gave anyone money, or took the family out to Red Lobster) 5. “Get the lobster, you’re too skinny” (again at Red Lobster) 6. “Men are bums” (no explanation needed) 7. “I was hungry and he bought me a White Castle” (on why she married my grandfather) 8. “Get the best and forget the rest” (relationship advice) 9. “You’ve got to learn to type, you can’t depend on no man for money” (in seventh grade regarding my future job prospects) 10. Everyone should have a shot of it everyday (on marijuana, even though she never smoked any) 11. “He’s handsome, I’m in love with him, and he wears suits made in Chicago” (on the 2008 election and why people should vote for Barack Obama) 12. “He’s decrepit” (on why not to vote for John McCain during the 2008 election, mind you, she was about 10 years older than him) 13. “When I was in grade school, they taught us two things: you gotta die and you gottta pay taxes. Now everyone lives too long and no one pays taxes, when did they change that ruling? (some thoughts on the American economy) 14. “This is ridiculous” (in reference to all of her grandchildren’s weddings or any sort of fancy occasion) 15. “Eat the candy” (she really loved candy) 16. “You’ll miss Busia (grandma) when she is gone” (so true) We miss you Grandma. Don’t worry, we are having shrimp tonight.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 18:31:44 +0000
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