I’ve been seeing a lot of people share this story on my newsfeed today. There are a few things I wish I could say to this girl… Everything I was reading in the article took me back to when I was 16…the family tension, arguing, heartbreak, tears, lies, dysfunction, betrayal and rebellion. I know lots of people know what used to go on, but it may come as a bit of a surprise to some people that I used to be like her. I got in a relationship with a boy that my dad did not approve of. But instead of honouring and respecting my dad I chose to rebel. Everything devolved quickly. I began to hate my parents, spread lies about my family, start huge arguments and force my family to live in a tense home. As soon as I could legally leave I did too, two days after my birthday…just like she did. There were a few times I wanted to move home. So, like any good parents, my mom and dad said I could come home whenever I was ready to follow their rules and be a part of their family again. Our stories are parallel in so many ways, and that’s why I read this article with a combination of heartbreak and disgust. Here is this beautiful young woman who could have a bright and shining future ahead of her…yet she’s throwing it away for what? A boy? I’ve been in the same head space she’s in right now and I STILL can’t even explain the thought process or logic behind it. But if we’re being honest, that could be because there isn’t any… One of the saddest things with this is that the deeper you fall into this pit of misery the more you harden your heart. You start to build up concrete walls that are constantly fortified with the lies and hatred that consume you. Countless people could till this young woman that if her relationship is tearing her so brutally away from her family it is wrong; she’d probably just tell everyone she loves him. It wouldn’t faze her if a stadium full of people told her that her parents love her more than she can imagine and want only the best for her. You can see the pain they’re in written right across their faces but she is indifferent. You can see it in her face and the way she talks to her mom. I wish I could explain to her how hard it is to come back from this and learn how to be a good person again…that the sooner you start the less you have to change…that I’ve done (almost) exactly what she’s doing and I still think she’s wrong…that these ‘friends’ with her in court are not real friends; real friends would be pushing her to change her life and be with her family…that her family owes her nothing…that it is incredibly sad that she would chose a boyfriend and fake friends over the people who have loved, held and cared for her for 18 years…that spreading malicious lies about your family turns people against you, not them…that her life and future is careening out of control because she is entitled and off track, not because her parents won’t bend to her every demand…that one day down the road she’ll look back at her actions now and they will break her heart and she will wish she could have a second chance to do it over again the right way. When you leave home too early you realize very quickly that the world can be a scary place. It can be unforgiving and cold. It will chew you up and spit you out without a second thought. There is no one in this world who will go to the wall for you like your family will. There is no one who will be more proud of you or love you more. A few years ago I was willing to, and did, throw that away to be free of my family and have the ability to do what I wanted when I wanted to…just like she is. It took me four months to realize how desperately I needed and wanted my family, and I’ve clung tightly to them ever since. Hopefully one day she’ll realize she needs them too and will try to repair the damage she’s done. But until then this girl needs prayer, she is desperately lost. Don’t criticize her parents and say they should have had more rules for her sooner. Pray that they can support each other and continue to love their daughter in whatever way they can and forgive her for what she is doing. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. “ Romans 12:2 cnn/2014/03/04/justice/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:25:01 +0000
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