January 6 and January 7 will always be 2 days of the year which I will always stop to be extra grateful for life and for the people who are around me physically and emotionally. Sadly, its almost an equal number. But, I was never a person to have many friends, although I have always been very popular. Weird I guess. In the end, the quality of those special relationships is really what holds us together during the rough patches. I will start here... On January 7 my best friend, fishing partner, home opener at Shea Stadium ticket giver, my math teacher, my little league coach, my motivator and most of all my biggest fan passed away. Although it felt like an instance, I have so many fond memories of my father. He made my sister and I smile, laugh and cry when necessary. He wasnt a highly formally educated guy but he had friends on many levels because he understood the connection with people. He was wise. My father cared about how other people felt and what other people wanted to feel happiness. He was a man with lots of strength, but very little power. His strength was built on faith and his power was made less through the vulnerability that he allowed which in many instances exposed him. Thats what I think drew people to him. He was mean but kind. Hard to explain, but I do understand it today. After his death, I stopped working hard and although kept working and creating my passion slipped by me. I went into survival mode. It wasnt until the other morning that my wife had a long talk with me.. and I am slowly analyzing her words. Perhaps... I dont work so hard anymore to impress or astonish anyone. My biggest fan is gone. He watch me shine way before Facebook was the approval agency of success. He witnessed my triumphs and my defeats. He watched me get up and do the impossible. Because he was always there. Today, I have become my father. I live to be the best father to my little man. I am thankful for a second opportunity to be more involved in my little mans life. The first time around I was so busy building the white picket fence life that I missed a lot of special moments. My father showed me what was important and today I see what he saw. We, my sister and I, were his most important matters. My wife I named the little man after my father and I am so glad we did. At first, I didnt really think it was a good idea. Today, I wouldnt call him anything else. Its like having a little piece of my father in a switched roll matrix style situation. For that I grateful. As far as January 6 is concerned. I had a friend who later became family (not sure if that is a good thing) but her son is my cousin. When we were young, she and I shared dreams of becoming music stars and music bosses. I drove around with her to recording sessions, I road managed her, I went with her to auditions and we sang on the West Side Highway loudly many times like no one was looking. And off the record, we rode in the same elevator with Mariah Carey a few times... lol - She lost her battle to cancer on this day a few years back. She will always have a place in my heart and memories of our teenage dreams will always be a part of me. Today... I am so grateful for having lived this wonderful roller coaster life filled with such unbelievable stories.. Sometimes I find it hard to believe myself. But I have never been a person who awoke dreamless. I dream everyday. I work towards bringing my dreams to life. I work towards helping others achieve and see their dreams. And although, the big boss dream dwindled away. I am seen like a boss by many and I feel like a student each day. My biggest dream has been fulfilled. Understanding life and the circumstances that come with be humbled and blessed with peace. In the end... It is what it is... and from my point of view... Life will always be beautiful. #butterfiles #Nanno17 #grateful #lifeisbeautiful
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 22:23:43 +0000
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