John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester, 1673. You Ladyes all of Merry England Who have been to kisse the Dutchesses hand, Pray did you lately observe in the Show A Noble Italian calld Signior Dildo? The Signior was one of her Highnesss Train [5] And helpt to Conduct her over the Main, But now she Crys out to the Duke I will go, I have no more need for Seignior Dildo. At the Signe of the Crosse in Saint Jamess Street, When next you go thither to make your Selfes Sweet, [10] By Buying of Powder, Gloves, Essence, or Soe You may Chance get a Sight of Signior Dildo. Youl take him at first for no Person of Note Because he appears in a plain Leather Coat: But when you his virtuous Abilities know [15] Youll fall down and Worship Signior Dildo. My Lady Southesk, Heavns prosper her fort, First Cloathd him in Satten, then brought him to Court; But his Head in the Circle, he Scarcely durst Show, So modest a Youth was Signior Dildo. [20] The good Lady Suffolk thinking no harm, Had got this poor Stranger hid under her Arm: Lady Betty by Chance came the Secret to know, And from her own Mother, Stole Signior Dildo: The Countesse of Falmouth, of whom People tell [25] Her Footmen wear Shirts of a Guinea an Ell: Might Save the Expence, if she did but know How Lusty a Swinger is Signior Dildo. By the Help of this Gallant the Countesse of Rafe Against the feirce Harris preservd her Self Safe: [30] She Stifld him almost beneath her Pillow, So Closely she imbracd Signior Dildo. Our dainty fine Dutchesses have got a Trick To Doat on a Fool, for the Sake of his Prick, The Fopps were undone, did their Graces but know [35] The Discretion and vigor of Signior Dildo. That Pattern of Virtue, her Grace of Cleaveland, Has Swallowd more Pricks, then the Ocean has Sand, But by Rubbing and Scrubbing, so large it dos grow, It is fit for just nothing but Signior Dildo. [40] The Dutchesse of Modena, tho she looks high, With such a Gallant is contented to Lye: And for fear the English her Secrets shoud know, For a Gentleman Usher took Signior Dildo. The countess of the Cockpit (who knows not her Name) [45] Shes famous in Story, for a Killing Dame: When all her old Lovers forsake her I Trow Shel then be contented with Signior Dildo. Red Howard, Red Sheldon, and Temple so tall Complain of his absence so long from Whitehall: [50] Signior Barnard has promisd a Journy to goe, And bring back his Countryman Signior Dildo. Doll Howard no longer with his Highness must Range, And therefore is proferd this Civill Exchange: Her Teeth being rotten, she Smells best below, [55] And needs must be fitted for Signior Dildo. St Albans with Wrinkles and Smiles in his Face Whose kindnesse to Strangers, becomes his high Place, In his Coach and Six Horses is gone to Pergo, To take the fresh Air with Signior Dildo. [60] Were this Signior but known to the Citizen Fopps Hed keep their fine Wives from the Foremen of Shops, But the Rascalls deserve their Horns shoud Still grow, For Burning the Pope, and his Nephew Dildo. Tom Killigrews wife, North Hollands fine Flower, [65] At the Sight of this Signior, did fart, and Belch Sowr, And her Dutch Breeding farther to Show, Says welcome to England, myn Heer Van Dildo. He civilly came to the Cockpitt one night, And proferd his Service to fair Madam Knight, [70] Quoth she, I intrigue with Captain Cazzo Your Nose in myne Arse good Seignior Dildo. This Signior is sound, safe, ready, and Dumb, As ever was Candle, Carret, or Thumb: Then away with these nasty devices, and Show [75] How you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo. Count Cazzo who carryes his Nose very high, In Passion he Swore, his Rivall shoud Dye, Then Shutt up himself, to let the world know, Flesh and Blood coud not bear it from Signior Dildo. [80] A Rabble of Pricks, who were welcome before, Now finding the Porter denyd em the Door, Maliciously waited his coming below, And inhumanely fell on Signior Dildo. Nigh wearyd out, the poor Stranger did fly [85] And along the Pallmall, they followd full Cry, The Women concernd from every Window, Cryd, Oh! for Heavns sake save Signior Dildo. The good Lady Sandys, burst into a Laughter To see how the Ballocks came wobbling after, [90] And had not their weight retarded the Fo Indeed t had gone hard with Signior Dildo. andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Texts/dildo.html
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 23:23:36 +0000
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