Journal of Speculative Studies: . Jude: 1:9: “But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him a railing judgment, but said, ‘The Lord rebuke you!’” . Some people wonder what was going on here. Far be it for God to do something for no reason at all. Clearly, God sent the angel on an important mission, and which was of such importance that the chief monster of all, Satan, felt it necessary to show up, rather than just sending a lowly subordinate. So clearly, something major was going on, regarding the body of Moses. My highly speculative notes indicates that the angel was taking a DNA sample, and if you’ll recall, there is a description of someone very interesting in Israel during the Revelation period, and who displays actions which are eerily similar to Moses. The only rational conclusion, then, is that God was making the six million dollar Jew. Yes, “We” can rebuild him. Bigger, stronger, faster, can even outrun bigfoot (see documented photo below), equipped with better hailstones, louder frogs, hungrier locusts, can turn water into blood, or blood into water; the six million dollar Jew will literally be able to do it all. . Revelation 13:3-6: “And I will grant authority to my two witnesses, and they will prophesy for twelve hundred and sixty days, clothed in sackcloth. These are the two olive trees and the two lampstands that stand before the Lord of the earth. And if anyone wants to harm them, fire flows out of their mouth and devours their enemies; so if anyone wants to harm them, he must be killed in this way. These have the power to shut up the sky, so that rain will not fall during the days of their prophesying; and they have power over the waters to turn them into blood, and to strike the earth with every plague, as often as they desire.”
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 14:52:57 +0000
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