Just had to post this again: Attempting to understanding the world with 2 cows SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. FREUDIANISM: You dont have 2 mad cows. You have two neurodegenerative affected bovinae. MURDOCHISM: There are 2 cows peacefully grazing in a field, but the media reports that two foreign-looking terrorist cows have been spotted killing hay and threatening to detonate manure. BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk ARISTOCRACY: You have 2 cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree. AFRICAN POLITICS: You have 2 cows. The villagers demand for a new village-Headman in a democratic process. However, the process results in high level corruption that bankrupts the villages grain silos, mass political witch-hunt on all opposition Headmen and vote-rigging ensues, and before the incumbent is even declared the winner, the two cows have disappeared, only to be discovered in the Headmans Swiss farm. The World Bank and The International Monetary Fund promises to send two more cows. AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY: You have 2 cows, but do not produce enough milk. You accuse another farme of stock-piling poisonous hay. You invade their farms and get all their milk. THE NORTH KOREAN MODEL: You have 2 cows. You name them Great Leader and Dear Leader, and a personality cult is created around the two cows. Every one either begins to believe or is forced to believe thatnothing would exist without these two cows. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organisea riot, and block the ports, because you want three cows. But you still have two cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows, but you dont know where they are. You decide to have a pizza. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,002 cows. You only own 2 and the rest do not belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the blogger who reported the real situation over the internet. A NIGERIAN CORPORATION: We have 2 cows, which were formerly owned by a dead politician. If you give us your bank details, we will deposit the cows in your account and cut you in on the profits. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead, and you immediately spin an announcement stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses. Your stocks price goes up. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION: You dont have 2 cows, but everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your farm. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy, or so everyone thinks... AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. To Your Happiness!!! *Live*Laugh*Love*
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 11:54:42 +0000
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