Kaiden, I do not know where to start?! Its been 3 LONG years since you were here!It still feels like yesterday! I think about you every moment. You are such a huge part of my heart and being. Yet those pieces of me feel so empty. You still make me smile and laugh while crying and hurting at the same time. To think of what you would be like today is not an option because you are still 5 and my lil baby boy who was supposed to be my girl. Looking at pictures and watching videos with daddy the other night and seeing once again what a lil shit you could be, yet so cute and sweet and good at it;) We laughed and once again felt the emptiness all over again. Your absence makes an incredible hole in my life buddy, I want you to be here filling me with the happiness I once had. I hate that you are not! I know you will one day run into my arms and hug me like before and tell me mommy you are the most beautiful mommy in the whole world!!! And then you will be off and running around playing and seeking mischief! Feels weird to do stuff without you still. I always feel like we are forgetting to include you! And then I have to remind myself that you arent gonna make it... you are just not gonna be there! Although we are still trying to adapt to this new normal, we have not forgotten you and we wished you were here to make it better for us. Not a day goes by that something or someone doesnt remind me of the million reasons why you should be here!! The million reasons I miss you!!! The million reasons I love you! The million reasons I think of how things could have and should have gone different on that fricken night!!! I still wonder why it had to be you? All the what ifs run through my mind and it is sickening to know that this is the outcome!! I am talking to you on a keyboard:( You cant even hear me:( Staying positive....I love you more than words could ever express...you are my little devil in sheeps clothing....you are always on my mind and forever in my heart....you are still my favorite (but dont tell your brothers or sissy)....you are an incredible being....you have brought me more emotion than anyone or anything could ever possibly provide both good and bad!! You are my reason for going on and continuing life to the fullest. I cannot wait to see you in that beautiful paradise God has promised us!!! You are ALWAYS on my mind and FOREVER in my heart Kaiden Ray Henley!!!!!! I love you ALWAYS, FOREVER, INFINITI XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 22:02:57 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015