Kathleen Ann Harshbarger July 26, 1945 - Rest in Peace - October 27, 2005 It has been 8 years since my Grandma has died. So I just felt the need to pour out all my thoughts and feelings Ive been holding in ever since. As I write this Im crying because I miss her. I was seven years old when my Grandma passed away, and I still remember everything. I didnt know my Grandma that well, but what I do know is she was one of my Best Friends. I use to get a flashback, we were in our old house. Someone had knocked on the door and she answered it, I stood behind her in the small Hallway. Then the door was closed, and thats all I remember of that memory. I still think back to when my family and I lived on Blackford Ave. Just on the corner was the little store Id go to everyday. I would walk with my Grandma on the sidewalk. Holding her hand. She was tall, with Brown Hair. I remember sitting in our rooms and just playing with her, I remember when she would get on to me when I acted bad. I remember her big Oxygen Tank, the smaller one she would carry around with her, the breathing machine she would have to use for what only seemed like once in a Blue Moon. I remember when movers brought her metal hospital bed into my room. How once I fell on the bed and I remember exactly how it felt. A mattress covered in tough white-ish gray plastic. I remember I use to go to her Doctors Appointments with her and my mom, and what the waiting room smelled like. I was too little then to know that she was ill. Her last few days I spent in my room with my mom watching Soap Operas. But the day I remember most was the day me and my mom were coming back from the store. We were just around the corner when my mom got a call. Of course, it was the hospital. We pulled in front of our house, and my mom told me to go in and stay with my brother. That she had to go see Grandma. I asked her if I could come, I tried to convince her to let me and Christopher go. But she said no. I walked into the house and told my brother mom was going to the hospital. I dont know how I knew, but I knew something bad was going to happen. I wasnt sure if I was panicky or not, but I remember spending time with my brother. It seemed like forever, but my mom finally came home, she called me and my brother into the living room and told us that our Grandma had passed away. I didnt even know what the proper term was, but I knew she was dead. I remember all three of us on the floor crying, my brother and I angry that we didnt get to say goodbye or see her one last time. Then sad that she was gone and wed never see her again. We cried for a good amount of time until Christin came in. We told her, but I dont remember her crying or not. I dont even remember my last words to my Grandma, I really wish I had remembered. After all of it, I remembered going to pick up Grandmas ashes with my mom at the Crematorium. Weve had her on our Marble Mantle, our White Wooden Mantle, our Brown Wooden Mantle, and now on a Shelf in our living room. We shake her ashes every once in a while. What I know for sure is that she comes down once in a while. Ive had encounters with her ever since her death, sure theyre very rare. But at least I have them. I know that shes looking down on all of us and that she loves us. From what I was told she always held me and wouldnt let anyone near me. Ive been told I was her baby, and Im told Im very much like her. I know I do somethings that shes [probably not proud of or that Ive done things shes disappointed of and that Im someone who is probably not what she expected. But I know she accepts me and loves me always. Grandma, I just wanna say I love you so much and I miss you everyday of my life. I wish you were here like everyone else so you could see what has changed and whats the same. Youre always in my heart and in my mind, youre never forgotten. You were the only Grandmother I really had and ever known. I know one day well meet again and I cant wait for that day. But until then, itll be worth the wait. I know youre in a better place and out of pain. I love you with all my heart and have fun flying high in those bright White clouds with Your beautiful Angel Wings. Always and Forever, Amen. In my Rose Garden of memories I see you standing there An angel in disguise Who taught me how to care I long to hear your voice for real not in my dreams I am missing you so much these days how empty my world seems People say time heals all wounds that someday the pain will subside But Grandma I can tell you I think they must have lied The emptiness I am feeling now is strong and I am weak These days go by without you so dreary and so bleak In my Rose Garden of memories I know youll always be for though youre gone from this mortal world In my heart youll always be -Victoria L. Payne
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 07:00:23 +0000
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