*LATEST AT OMISORES HOUSE* [Omisore punching calculator and writing on his note pad. Then the phone rings] OMISORE: Hello! Who is this? GEJ: Its me your President. Sorry about the loss ehn...This APC rascals are stubborn ooo. OMISORE: Ha, my president, na so we see am ooo. In fact, that yeye Raufu get juju. [Continues punching calculator loudly] GEJ: Iyiola, what is that sound Im hearing? OMISORE: Im calculating sir. GEJ: Calculating what? OMISORE: All the money that Ive lost on this election sir. Ha, owo wo igbo! With all the bags of rice, salt and gallons of kerosene. GEJ: My friend stop that! Afterall, it is not really ur money. OMISORE: [Speaking in agony] What do I do about these 1,000 bottles of champagne now? GEJ: 1,000 bottles of what?! Do you plan to open a bar? OMISORE: No sir! I planned to use it for celebration when they declare me winner. Ha! Mo gbe ooo. GEJ: Stop that my friend! It is a blessing in disguise! OMISORE: Blessing how? You know Im not from the royal family and the Ooni of Ife has no plans to die now. So being king is not an option. GEJ: I am making you an ambassador. A very special, powerful and dignified one. OMISORE: [Quickly drops calculator] Ambassador to where sir? GEJ: To Liberia. You will have 3 private jets, 4 large mansions, fleets of cars, several foreign accounts... OMISORE: Ehnnnn!!!! GEJ: Forget what youre thinking. Youre a man nau... We shall provide you with golden gloves, diamond nose pads, extreme security... [Omisore faints at the other end of the line] GEJ: Hello! Hello!! Hello!!! Chai! This network, ehn...
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 20:12:49 +0000
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