LAWS OF PHYSICS THEY DONT TEACH 1. Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & youll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity Any tool, nut, bolt or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 3. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. 5. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. 6. Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. 7. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you dont want to be seen with. 8. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine wont work, IT WILL – and vice versa!!! 9. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to difficulty of reaching it. 10. Law of the Theatre & Arena At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangling legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. 11. The Coffee Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 12. Murphy’s Law of Lockers If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 13. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. 14. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible IF you dont know what you are talking about. 15. Law of Physical Appearance If the clothes fit, theyre usually ugly. 16. Law of Public Speaking A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! 17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it or the store will stop selling it! 18. Doctors’ Law If you dont feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, youll feel better. But dont make an appointment and youll stay sick.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 01:38:52 +0000
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