LETTING GO IS THE ONLY WAY. I said I was going to keep my life more private and things are still the same but from time-to-time I will be posting a few things on here that people may consider being more open than private, but Rome wasnt built in a day and because I am so used to vent via social media it really helps me through difficult times hearing your feedback. I met a guy. he seemed perfect and I mean PERFECT. Older, mature, kind hearted and honest - and his appearance who turn any lesbian straight. He told me he would have paid my flight to see him but we arranged to meet when I was in Middlesbrough - but then things started to change. Messages was becoming more far inbetween and be was becoming more and more busy (keep in mind you know when someone has been online on whatsapp) He told me he met another girl - it was just a spare of the moment thing I said will you be seeing her again and he said I dont know... Possibly? I was really hurt, I told myself how can you like someone youve never met? Jealously and anger took over and if youve followed me a while on social media you know that Im not one to hide my feelings - I went off on one. We talked on the phone and he said he still wanted to meet me, he says who knows what will happen, you might meet me and not like me Was this just another way to try put me off him? Am I being that annoying clingy girl you just cant seem to get rid of? Do anyone of you remember Mr. Heartache? Things happened with me and him that have made me afraid of loosing people who I am interested in. I will be telling you guys that story not for attention because I know if I wanted attention I could get it without a blink of an eyelash, but to let people know when going through similar situations that you will get over it. I mean comeon, the guy literally made my think I was going crazy. Anyway, today I have decided I dont need this in my life, no matter how much I would like it to happen - and to be completely honest I might NOT like him. Ive built up a fantasy in my head of what hes like in person (although weve skyped its not the same thing). Ive deleted his number, and every other way from me to contract him and Im letting this one go - I dont need someone who makes me graft to try and get their attention and has the power to give him the power to make me have a good or bad day, I want someone who wants to try and get MY attention and wants to keep it. Sends me good morning texts, asked how I am doing randomly. Ask me how Im REALLY feeling when I say yea Im good thanks The dating game is supposed to be fun - to me its the farthest thing away from fun. I deserve more, Ive a lot to give someone and I know this but my identity has always been a little screwed up and once I finally become 100% honest with myself and settled in the right path then I can start looking for someone to share my life with and try not force it. As scary as it is. Is it just me or does anyone else think Well if I cant find someone now, how on earth am I gonna find someone when Im older, filled with botox and lip fillers? Theres a long way for me to find the myth in my life called love and Im sure this wont be the last letting go post youll see from me - but gotta to it for myself and my own dignity and wish him all the best. Until next time, double kisses.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 12:41:20 +0000
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