LONG ISLAND So.... Youre from Long Island? You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, But you almost never go there.. When youre away from Long Island , you love it And when youre there, you dont. You think if youre not from Long Island or NYC, Youre not really from New York You know the exact point at which Queens Turns into Nassau simply on intuition. You dont go to Manhattan , you go to The City. You never realize you have an accent till you leave. Everything north of the Bronx is upstate. At some point in your life youve gone clamming. Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city. Youd pay $11.50 for a movie. You dont live in Long Island You live ON Long Island Your distant future might involve the state of Florida You can correctly pronounce places like Ronkonkoma , Hauppauge, Wantagh , Mineola, Islandia, Massapequa You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds And 36 7-11s. You never, ever want to change at Jamaica ... Youve tried to find the Amityville Horror house. No, you dont want mustard on that burger!! You cant understand why a diner would ever close. Youve had a seagull crap on your car. You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR And ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville . You know White Castle is terrible for you And the food sucks but you periodically Get the Crave. You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx , But would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan You think that somehow, the Jets and Giants still play in New York Youve missed that Drunk Train, the 2:42 out of Penn And had the dreaded wait until 5:30. You or someone you know has owned an animal That came from North Shore Animal League. Quick! Whos your county Executive ? Dont know do you?! Youve never taken an MTA bus. The Long Island Expressway isnt really as bad as everybody thinks. You dont associate Fire Island with gay men. You know which parts of the godfather were filmed on Long Island You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute And you enjoy watching it grow up. Billy Joel said it best, either you date a rich girl from The North Shore, Or a cool girl from the South Shore . You dont really see the big deal about the Hamptons , Unless you got smashed at the Bordy Barn. When people ask where are you from? You answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York .. Youve always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his records. The Belt Parkway sucks! Youve been stuck in a traffic jam For more than 2 hours (without moving). Your parents took you to All American, Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach). Regular gas - $3.29 and you still pay it!!! You hate paying tolls. You dont have to go far to see your family. You remember Grumman. You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not BLUE! You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendys and Arbys closed for good. You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Huntington . Paying $35 for a haircut doesnt sound so crazy. You think the people from Brooklyn are DA wunz dat tawk wit a accent. You went sledding in the sumps. You knew of Massapequa before The Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare. You think going to Queens is a hike. The first time you heard the term Long Island Iced Tea You were somewhere else and you laughed. When you live somewhere else and are astounded To see that people actually stop at yellow lights.. When you just sort of presume that wherever you live, Youll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels. You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands... It becomes normal to you. No word ends in an ER, just an AH. You actually get these jokes And pass them on to other friends from Long Island
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 17:25:51 +0000
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