Ladies ~ 23.) Building, improving, and maintaining relationships and effective communication. One of the biggest hindrances to lasting relationships is lack of forgiveness. There are two sides to this coin: 1. When someone won’t forgive you. 2. When you refuse to forgive someone. We covered the first one last time, so we will cover #2 today. When a person sins against us, (or commits a sin not even related to us- just a sin that we are privy to) there is a temptation to entertain resentment or hate in our hearts towards the person who has caused the offence. It is very natural for people to hate one that molested their daughter, or chose to drink and drive, taking the life of their husband. It is normal for us to feel hostility, in our hearts, toward those who have wronged us or others that we love. We are all inclined to resent those who murder, abuse, and hurt others; making life hard and grievous because of their sins. Yes, these feelings are natural for every one of us; but Christians are called to live a supernatural life. We are not free to hold bitterness in our hearts. (*Note- There are times when people hurt, abuse, and endanger other people. In the event that danger may be lurking we are to forgive the sinner but use wisdom in our everyday choices. For instance - if someone abuses your child - you are to forgive them; but you are not obligated to leave your child with that person again. Sometimes people that have sinned against others this way use manipulation - “If you really forgive me you will trust me!” But that is not necessarily true. Taking extra precaution to protect your child because of past experience is wise. Sometimes sin changes things - God forgave David’s sins with Bathsheba and her husband but David still had repercussions to live with because of his sin. It is not our job to see that someone gets repercussions for their sins but it IS our job to protect our children. Having said that be very careful that you not hold onto things that you shouldn’t. Forgive as you want to be forgiven. To keep reminding and digging up the past is wrong.). Forgiveness is supernatural. Peter knew this and upon questioning Jesus on this very subject threw out a very liberal example of forgiveness. “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven” (Mt. 18:21-22). To forgive a person for a particular wrong seven times is quite liberal. When Jesus posed 70 x 7 He never intended for us to get our calculators out and start taking track of the offences against us. There is no magical equation here. Had Peter offered eight times Jesus would no doubt have said, 80 x 8. The point of focus is not in the number itself but rather the forgiveness. Jesus said, “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (Lk. 17:3-4). Think about this. If someone sins against us three times in one day, he/she has already pushed our buttons by then, but by the time they come the fourth time, we already tend to feel that they were not sincere the first three times that they had asked for forgiveness. But Jesus says that we need to forgive anyway and keep forgiving. Why is this so hard for us? ….Love is the reason. If you think about it our children sin against us way more than 7 times in one day. Yet it is our joy to forgive them and hope the best. Why? It is because we love them. You are not tempted to call your friends to fill them in on what evils your son or daughter has done. Why? …It is because the love that you have for your child drives you to actually want to cover his/her sins from exposure. We want people to love and respect those that we love. Our problem lies in the fact that we don’t love others as we do our selves or our children. We want mercy for those that we love and justice for those that we don’t love as much. Love is the difference. When we have God’s love we will want to cover the sins of others as we want them to do for us. It is supernatural to love others this way. It is supernatural that Jesus loves you and I this way. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (1Pet. 4:8). Love doesn’t turn a blind eye to sin or wrong but it lovingly seeks remedy and reconciliation. God has given us answers to dealing with sin in the Bible. Love trusts and obeys God’s answers and hopes for His glory in all things. Even when forgiveness applies to - Your ex-husband Your imperfect parents Your rebellious children Your ex-best friend Your selfish work associate Someone that abused you Has someone sinned against you? Have you been making them feel a cool distance from you ever since? It would be overwhelming if Jesus treated us this way. We need to be like Him, as He is depicted in the father of the prodigal son, running toward sinners, with our arms wide open, ready to honor their repentance and kill the fatted calf with much rejoicing! Don’t choose to be the resentful brother who tries to bring to remembrance the wrongs that the prodigal has indeed done. No one - including you and I - deserves forgiveness….yet Jesus offers it to us. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1Jhn. 1:9). Let’s reflect THAT type of forgiveness to others. Homework ~ Be a peace maker who loves and forgives like Jesus does.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 09:23:00 +0000