Lagos Driving 101 (Lessons to learn while driving in Lagos)25 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT1. When in doubt, accelerate!2. Be prepared to ram anything stoping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, hatch ur window not more than 2 inches to converse, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (vere off traffic & settle five hundy, trust me theyre usually that hungry), if they dont agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army or a high place (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office or else the money youll have paid initially will be multiplied.4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars, and drivers license always carry photocopies (even the expired ones)5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plague7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramification, they have NO brakes8. Taxi drivers should always have the right of way, they own the streets in their minds9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes, man holes and car holes are put in key locations to test drivers reflexes and shock absorbers ( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).12. There is no such thing as one-wayin Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, or your own car might end up needing extensive bodywork.14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that short-cut.16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city - even areas theyve never been to.17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.20. Hazard lights (popularly called double pointer) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, hes headed straight and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his horn.21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!HORNING IN LAGOS- Horn when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.- Horn when youre about to move off.- Horn when youre about to overtake.- Horn when someone is about to overtake you.- Horn when turning into a road.- Horn when emerging from a road.- Horn back when someone horns at you. Its considered good etiquette.- Horn when you hear a chorus of horns. Dont worry if you dont know what all the horning is about, just horn!- Horn when youre happy.- Horn to the beat when youre playing music in your car.- Infact, horn from the begining of ur destination till you get there
Posted on: Mon, 14 Apr 2014 10:38:49 +0000
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