Last Saturday I drove to the doctors to draw blood for a test. I was told to get there at seven a.m when most sane and non-anchorite people would be asleep, but they tell mih it would beat the weekend crowd. So the nurse sticks me full of holes trying to find a vein until I wondered whether I had come for a bloodletting or to initiated into the techniques of heroin addiction....but the nurse is a singularly nice lady who has known me since I was a newly born foetus, so I bore with it....nevermind I had to sit near an old man who was hacking phlegm and cold sweating , forcing me to google on my lumia the symptoms of Ebola just in case...es a call during the week that of the two samples taken for the test, one was accidentally contaminated and I had to come back in this morning to be further bled...I started to feel like Mina Harker being tackled by Dracula but without the Victorian laces and melodrama.....so I go in again at seven this morning (second weekend in a row I am forced to violate my principles of sleep) and the doctor is delayed by traffic (yeah, it dat bad now, seven on a Saturday morning and the traffic into south is like it never got the memo that it supposed to disappear until Monday) ...this time instead of a catatonic old man I am waiting in a room with two elderly dames who are obviously hypochondriacs from the way they discussed in loud and animated fashion the quality, consistency , smell, colour and size of their bowel movements oblivious to the fact that I was sitting quietly in a corner, yea close to running shrieking into the traffic-jammed road and hurling myself under a 10 wheeler truck.....the doctor mercifully arrived...very nice and friendly Nigerian chap who obviously did not train at UWI since he has good graces and great bedside manner...best part? He only needed to stick me once so that I might be bled....WIN!!
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 03:53:00 +0000
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