Last night I had a dream. I had a dream that black people woke up. I believe that the majority of my people are mentally asleep. Naive to the destruction we cause upon ourselves, our communities and most importantly our children with the mistakes we make in how we live. Im no politician. Im no pastor. I believe in God but Im far from qualified to speak on his behalf. I can only speak on behalf of his mercy and love. Martin Luther King Jr. once said ultimately a genuine leader is not of consensus but a molder of consensus. Im no Martin Luther King, but last night I had a dream. I dreamed of a better community; a more unified, organized, vigilant African American community. I dreamed of the children I havent had yet. The children they havent had yet. I dreamed of an end to the over 400 years of our people being burdened with an oppressive mind state that has become such an intertwined and integral part of our being; some of us dont know or refuse to believe it even exists. John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach once said, Failing to plan is planning to fail. I submit that the black family is failing because too many of us are failing to plan. I personally believe that if the bones of the first person on earth were found in Africa, this world was created from a black womans womb. The original woman. The foundation of all society. I believe that too many of our people have allowed their will, their strength, their voice to become submissive to what society calls success. What is the definition of success? Is it cars, a house, a college diploma hanging from your wall? I believe that success is lying on your death bed as an old man or woman; surrounded by family and people who love you telling you how cherished you were. Telling you how much your life meant and how they’ll miss you. At the end of the day all the money in the world isnt worth that. It isnt worth the hugs, kisses and smiles. Our women embrace this concept. Thats why so many of them work themselves to death to provide singularly for families they didnt create by themselves. So I say to my ladies, you have to understand that the majority of the young black men you will interact with in life; have no concept of what family is. How can you fully conceptualize something you didnt see? Many of these men have never experienced the love and joy of a solid, functional family unit; so why would they cherish it? Many of them wont. So ladies I submit that you must begin to hold these men to the highest of standards before you give them your bodies and possibly a child. There is something to be said about a man who loves you enough to give you his baby but not make you his wife. This is not a condemnation of single-unwed mothers. Not in the least. This is a recommendation for our daughters and sons. Do we really want them to experience the exact same life we have? Would anyone really describe raising a child alone as an ideal situation? You owe me no answer. You owe your children the honest, brutal truth. Otherwise theyll repeat our examples; we’re their role models. How many single mothers had single mothers? How many sons were raised in homes where their own fathers didnt live? If a boys father doesnt love his mother enough to make her his wife, what does it say to him? If no man saw enough in a boy’s mother to commit to her, is it really shocking that when so many of those boys become men they run from commitment just like their fathers? Ive heard so many mothers’ say, My son will know how to treat a woman because Im going to teach him how to be the man his father wasnt. Did you ever think that you may be in-directly teaching him, “dad had a baby with mom and didnt marry her, so as long as I take care of my child, I dont have to get married? “ Thats the sentiment I hear from a lot of brothers in my travels; although most of them would never verbalize that when initially meeting a woman. Situations such as this outline a deeper problem in our psyche. Too many of us think that doing the bare minimum is to be applauded; when reality is that at all times we must strive for excellence. Were capable of great things. Our women are capable of being far more than single, hard working, independent women and mothers. Our men are capable of being more than rappers, singers, producers, athletes and convicts. I have a dream too. A dream where we realize we have to come together because the times were living in arent looking good for our children. Theres a reason the Great Depression lead to the Baby Boomer generation. When times get hard people need comfort. When people lack comforts theyll go out and find it in some way, shape or form; not always positive. Perhaps another reason why our jails are over-crowded, our schools are under-funded and our children under-prepared. Were falling victim to those who would have us remain permanent second-class citizens in this society. Two incomes have always been better than one. One home has always been cheaper than two. Children were always supposed to be products of wedlock. Our babies are precious. We’re precious. Black people, we have always been precious; we just haven’t always realized it. I have a dream. I have a dream where more of my brothers take the largest fundamental step to changing our communities; making a wife out of one of the millions of deserving black women out here. Settling down, raising a family and being the men they’re destined to be; all while showing that family, a man isnt defined by the size of his wallet but rather the size of his heart. The warmth of his hug. The gentleness in his smile. The determination in his efforts to do any and everything he can to provide for and to protect them. Our children need it. Our women need it. We as black men need to be recognized for something other than our athletic prowess, musical gifts, and genitals. We need to take pride in the two most important titles we can carry, husband and father. I have a dream too. One where black people drop the bags of bitterness, pain and hurt and pick ourselves up. Dust ourselves off and realize that the pressure that has been brought to bear on us by ourselves and others is nothing we cant handle. Historically speaking were survivors. We know how to survive on the bare minimum better than anyone on the face of this Earth. Its time we strive to be leaders and thinkers. Were capable of much more than just surviving. Last night I had a dream. I dreamed of large neighborhoods where people who looked like me owned their own homes. No one was rich but people were well off and provided for. Children were laughing joyously. Dads were outside teaching their sons and daughters how to ride bikes. Mom was inside cooking Sunday dinner. Or maybe mom was outside teaching them how to ride bikes and dad was inside cooking dinner; does it really matter? I had a dream where black men and women didnt judge each others’ blackness by the clothes they wore or by the slang they choose or refuse to speak with; or the chemicals they do or dont put in their hair. I had a dream where we patronized our own businesses. A dream where we owned the corner stores, restaurants, laundry mats, banks, and hell even the liquor stores too. I had a dream where we shared and profited in the joined success of our communities and families and where we took a collective *sigh* as a people. A dream where we not only realized our potential but fulfilled it as well. Last night I had a dream. facebook/youngblackandmarried foreveryoungblackandmarried https://foreveryoungblackandmarried/I_have_a_dream_too..html © 2014. FOREVERYOUNGBLACKANDMARRIED.COM. All rights reserved.
Posted on: Sat, 10 May 2014 17:17:00 +0000
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