Last night it came to me like a breeze assisting a honey bee, can I really trust myself & am I really free? Who am I? What is me? A concoction of experiences and cocktail of ancestral packages, influenced by images and indoctrinated by society. Taught by a system set up by a stranger, infused with self preservation in fear driven by mortality. Inflated with praise and fluffed up with compliments or damned by anothers judgement and trashed by a set of beliefs. Picking and choosing what is right for me, the bits that form this identity. Avoiding the darker side or being taken on a hellish ride by self doubt and low self esteem, is there a choice? Do you know what I mean? Before the history, prior to her story what is the driving force that breathes life into me? I can quip and laugh Dance and sing Sure I can, like a trained monkey. I can argue, resist, debate and fight, To save my pride, my dignity and sense of life, I can give directions learned, of that I know. But does this really help me grow? What about the alternative degrees I have not travelled, yet to be unravelled, if ever, who knows? Am I just a mix of madness culminated since birth, a reinvented pot noodle of relatives rolled into one? I am aware that the beauty before all of this, the place some call bliss, the lifelong living breath, the force that knows no death is playing a metaphoric game of chess.... And I dont need to know the rest. Or do I? This ever curious being that I am, that enjoys the play and unfolding plan, like a child with eyes of innocence is a sweet gift with many layers. The game of a million players. Can I trust myself? Yes I can, because I can see past the wo/man and hear the loving guidance in my heart ~ the divine plan.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 09:26:06 +0000