Last night we attended what should have been McKennas 5th grade Glee performance. The performance was dedicated to our girl and featured her friends and classmates singing songs she loved and songs that represented the word Brave, which was the theme of the night. Ms. Nelda even wrote a song just for her entitled Macky that the kids all learned ukelele to. As many of you know, McKenna loved to sing, and at our local elementary school we are blessed to have an incredible music teacher (Ms. Nelda) who loves our kids and music with equal passion. She teaches them not only to be brave by putting themselves on the line with their performances, but she instills a love of music that has pervaded our community. I cant tell you how many neighborhood kidswe see able to strum a ukelele or sing one of Neldas songs years after they have left elementary. The night, as you can imagine, was bittersweet. The love the community still shows for Macky and for our family is ovewhelming at times. It was palpable in the room last night. Every 5th grader wore their Glee shirt which stated Macky foever in our hearts. It felt like home as we hugged kids we hadnt seen in a while and mingled with the families that were such a big part of our lives before and during her illness. A good friend even surprised us with a butterfly on the bridge we walked over every day to get to school. Just one thing was missing..... It was so hard to watch McKennas friends. So grown up from 3 years ago, ready to go to middle school now. I scanned the risers, looking to see who she would stand next to, how tall I thought she would be now. I knew the places where McKenna would have sung a solo, and I watched her friends sing them instead. They sang the song Perfect by Pink and I cried because this is the song I sang to Macky when she hated the way she looked because of steroids and the tumor. They sang the Macky song, her friends singing in her voice the words she would say to comfort them. All I could think was that she should be up there with them. 5th graders should not be singing about their dead friend. Our family should not sit in the audience watching an elementary performance dedicated to their daughter instead of beaming with pride at another year of accomplishments. It is all so wrong and represents another one of those life moments when the enormity of the loss sucker punches you and leaves you gasping for air. One thing is sure, if Macky is capable of feeling the love that still surrounds her, she felt it last night in that room. Her physical presence may not have been there, but her spirit was. Thank you, everyone, for the love you still hold in your hearts for our girl. Knowing that she is not forgotten is a gift that is beyond words, so I will use Ms. Neldas instead - Mahalo
Posted on: Fri, 06 Jun 2014 14:26:01 +0000
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