Last saturday, I got a call from this friend of mine. She was going through some stuffs and needed a friend to talk to. In the course of our phone call, the following ensued... She told me - AKINWALE, I have never really known true love. I have never really had a deep, meaningful relationship. Over the years, I have learned to mask my insecurities and fears about relationships with abrasiveness and bold, empty pretense. The first guy I ever dated treated me like nobody. The second one was terrible, and so were the next two afterwards. I have heard girls talk about being made to feel special by their men, and that is definitely something that has eluded me thus far. I have groaned for acceptance, but I have never really gotten it in any of my relationships. I put forward a fake facade to suggest that all is well, but men see through all that. After my last ex broke my heart, I no longer feel beautiful or worthy. I am not sure I like who I see when I look into the mirror. I am afraid of compliments, because I feel I would have to live up to them… and I fail terribly at that. Those were her words to me (not exact cause I cant recall all she said), and I felt deeply empathic towards her as she laid herself bare. So i told her so many things that day to keep her going, things I cant really write down here. But at the end of the call, she was grateful and happy to have talked to me, to have finally let out her fears. Thats all about that! Now, lets talk about You. Yes, YOU reading this - I dont know what you are or might be going through in your personal life, but if this post speaks to you, then here is something you should know: We are all afraid in some way. At some point, you have to wrestle with your past experiences and win your freedom. The freedom to be truly happy, to feel beautiful, and to love oneself. It is hard to feel this way with your experiences, but you must not shut yourself out. If you have to crawl to learn to walk on the path to regaining your confidence, then you must do it. To give up would mean letting those guys/girls who treated you terribly win over and over again. Believe me when I say - You are very beautiful. You have to try to be fair to yourself. Judge yourself through the eyes of you, your friends and the eyes of God that made you, not through the eyes of the lame guys/girls who do not know how to treat a woman/man. You are using their weakness as a yardstick to measure yourself, and that is lopsided. It is okay to be scared. I used to. It is okay to be shy; I used to and can still be sometimes. We all feel unworthy about something. That is normal, but you must not define the entirety of who you are by the experiences you have had... especially the bad ones. You shouldnt give up. You can start off cautiously and watch how things develop. Live one day at a time. If it happens to be real, you’d see it. Love is like light, you can’t hide it. Give it a careful try okay, Never say never!
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 13:40:04 +0000
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