Last week I was sitting in my home office, with my boys and their friends playing in our front yard, when I glanced out the window to see one of the kids standing over my son, kicking and punching him. I catapulted myself down the stairs and out the front door and I charged at the boy, eyes wild, a protective father bear roaring, Get out of my yard right now! Go home! He quickly reached for his bike, but, as he turned, I saw the fear of me in his eyes. I had stopped his aggression with some of my own, matched his anger with mine, traded his explosion for another. I was teaching him to be a man. I called out to the boy, asked him to come back, told him to look me in the eye, and then I said, We want you here, but if you are feeling hurt about something, dont hurt someone in return. Tell us about it, instead. And with a force that surprised even the therapist in me, his water mains burst. Tears gushed forth and in a matter of seconds this young boy was a sloppy street full of saline and snot. Feelings of rejection and isolation and loneliness poured forth and they flooded his face and they flooded my yard. When we have that much emotional water rushing through our human pipes, and we are told to bury it, and everybody neglects it, we eventually break. When our boys are taught to suppress, they are being groomed to explode… huffingtonpost/kelly-m-flanagan/a-message-to-our-boys-about-how-not-to-become-men_b_5706425.html
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:00:01 +0000
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