Lastnight was a revelation all in itself. I was speaking with two highly educated people(whom have been very insightful to me)and listening with all I have in me I learned that I must do what I need to. Procrastination I believe is the holder of process n progression. I say that to say that in an order for me to move on mentally emotionally physically spiritually verbally is that what Im going to say now will take more guts than I was originally willing to admit. I was lying to myself because of the shame one made me feel and I felt for myself for even trusting they could handle it. Heck I couldnt handle. Ok. First off I want to say I pray I will not..nevermind.. I want to say Im sorry Sherman Wilburn. Im sorry that for the 5 years we were together that we said things,did things, and more to one another that should not have been said,done, or even thought of. I have been struggling with this since I last saw you and the last inbox I received. I will say I did not physically cheat on you. I found that at our low times and high that people tried to fill that void we created within our relationship. People that were close to us tried so desperately to get at me or sabotage our union. To some degree they did,the rest was us and our hidden faults. I loved you because you gave me what others tried to kill an that was a heartbeat that was true. A love that was real. A friend. We argued about the silliest of things and when noone was around things happened that I will keep forever. What I gave was perceived from you. I gave alot. I also took what was given. I never expected us to be how we are now, apart,distant,unknown to one another except the occasions of remembering better times. Times I will never forget nor will my daughter. I remember you embraced her as your own. She loved that. Well I just wanted to say that although it may take time I pray this phase will pass and better times for our seperate lives are yet to come. That last inbox I must say kinda crushed my heart. Yes I did forward it to my dad because he is my friend. He told me to own my part and pray and move on. I have and now I dont know what else to say except Im apologizing for causing strife and grief. I too am not perfect and am working on myself. Thats all. Thank you.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Oct 2013 14:34:08 +0000
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