Let go of who you think they are. It is not usually the loss of that person that hurts the most but the loss of who you imagined or wished them to be. Often you have an idea of how your mate should be and refuse to see signs that would tell a different story about how they really perceive you and their commitment to an open and caring relationship. When another person emerges than who you expected, it can be a frightening experience. People who stay with abusers will compartmentalize the trauma so that they can function without the horrible memories of abuse at the forefront of their minds. They will reason away why the abuse happened, they will lie to themselves and pretend things are not really all that bad. As long as you are clinging to an image of who you think the person ought to be, you are not having an authentic relationship with a caring being but entertaining a dangerous fantasy created by your mind.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Oct 2013 11:30:27 +0000
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