Let me start off by saying that I apologize for how long winded this post is going to be, I am currently trying to figure out how to start a blog, so I can have a proper outlet for my thoughts and ramblings. (Any body who can help with that would be much appreciated and rewarded with warm hugs.) As I sit here contemplating life while my lbs of ground beef cook, I cannot seem to get over one simple question in my mind: How bad do I want this? I have a newfound clarity of thought that I have not had in quite awhile and I am somewhat taken aback at how strongly my mind has responded to this question; to which it profoundly resounds, More than anything. About a month ago I had pretty much all but given up on my bodybuilder ambition. The uninformed often relate bodybuilding to fitness. While bodybuilders do believe in fitness, there is so much to it than just eating healthy and working out. Bodybuilding is a science and like any science the formula has to just right in order to achieve the desired result. Bodybuilding is exact and calculated and any missed step or setback can be brutal and crushing. It takes a strong mind and an even stronger will to make it through and often times most people do not have what it takes. The public sees the half naked Instagram posts and the glorious photo shoots and supplement advertising, but what the public doesnt see is the constant struggle and turmoil that we face on a daily basis. Temptation is always lurking. There is the constant temptation of non-diet approved foods, getting an extra hour of sleep instead of waking up to eat and pack food for the day, the temptation of skipping the gym and hanging out with friends or family that feel neglected or abandoned and not to mention constantly having to meal prep and cook. So why does anyone do this? I cannot answer for anyone else, but my answer is because it is what I have always wanted. I can remember growing up the chubby fat kid just admiring the physiques that the greats had sculpted. Size, mass and definition displayed on stage for all the world to see. I remember thinking to myself that having a body like that would be impossible for me to achieve. Looking in the mirror every morning I still see that little boy staring back at me, but this time he has a smile on his face because he knows that every day I keep at it and everyday I make the necessary sacrifices help me get one step closer to something that I never imagined to be possible. As my dream becomes an actuality and I get one step closer to stepping on stage, I realized that whether or not I do well, or even if I only do one show in my life I can tell my children, as most parents do, that nothing is impossible and with hard work and dedication anything can be achieved. At 19 years old, in September of 2009, I stepped on a scale and it read 301LBS and now here I am preparing myself to step onto a bodybuilding stage, with my entire body exposed to be judged and ridiculed and I could not be happier or more excited. I doubt anybody will actually read all of this and I dont really blame them, but if somebody does read this, I would be happy to know that there is some feeling of hope that can be found in this.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 05:59:37 +0000
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