Let the gaaaaaames begin!........(I say that EVERY night of the week.) For just one night I wish my knotheat boyz would synchronize their little K-9 watches so they could all time their nightly bathroom breaks for the same time. Round bout two in the A of Ms EVERY night I am woken up by Layla standin at the foot of the bed and huffin her big ole head off. (Its not a bark and its not like anything any other noise a normal dog would make.....Its a huff and she does it every twenty seconds till ya get up. Huff.......(20 seconds)........Huff..........(20 seconds)............Huff......You get the idea) So......Up I get and into the living room I go where I am met by the other three mallotheads who are sittin there lookin at me. Okay I say.....Nows the time......Who ELSE needs to go outside? Nows the time to speak up. ANYBODY else need to go? ANYBODY? And all in unison they say.....Naw man....Were good. But thanks for askin. Are you SURE? I ask. Yep.......No prob I hear. (*Usually that comes from Buddy.) Okay then and I let Layla go outside while I sit down in front of the computer and wait. Bout twenty minutes later shes back at the door scratchin to come back in. I get up, go to the door and as soon as I open it so she can come back in I hear Buddy say......Wellllll......Ya knooooow......Come to think of it......I spose I COULD go after all Grrrrrrr.....(That would be me) so I let him out. ANNNNNYBODY else I ask. Nope, nope......Thanks though so out the door Buddy goes and back in front of the computer I go. Again.....Twenty minutes later......Heeeeeres Buddy. I get up, go to the door, let him in and now.....Its Elmo........ Ya knoooooow.....Just to be suuuuuuuure.......Maybe I better give it a shot too........Be back in a minute. Dad gum your hide Elmo.......and out the door he goes for his turn and back I go to the computer. Now Im wide awake and caught up on all the comins and goins on Facebook until FINALLY (Hes a slow peeer and pooper) Elmo decides to come back to the door to be let back in. I get up yet again.....Let him in....turn around and there lays Katey lookin at me. Now I will NEVER understand how she knows whats goin on because she is a hundred percent deaf and ninety five percent blind but without a doubt.....she knows. Can ya help a little old lady out young man? she asks Cause I feel the need to go myself but you know me.....I dont like to go out unaccompanied so I then have to go over and help her stand up and then watch her as she walks to the door in that little old man that has his britches cinched up to his armpits look and off she shuffles along in that little waddle thing she does. Her?..... I have to go outside with her and stand there on the concrete driveway in my bare feet, regardless of the weather till she finds the perfect bush to visit. And believe me....she has to examine each and every bush and tree and blade of grass before she finds it too. Now......I have to help her find her way back INTO the house because she has a tendency to get a bit confused as to where the back door is. Also......I have to be careful as I trek thru the back yard to get her that I dont step on anything left by the other boyz who just visited earlier. If not that.....I have to make sure there are no reptiles or other vermin or anything else that might be out there slitherin around in the dark just waitin for a chance to bite or violate my big arse. I have learned one thing since moving here to North Carolina.......EVERYTHING that crawls, flys, walks or swims has claws, stangers or fangs to attack ya with. FINALLY.....I get back into the house and make my way back to the bedroom and there, back to back, on MY pillow is Buddy and Elmo just snorin away. What do I do? Well, I tuck em in and its to the spare bedroom I go. One of these days I have high hopes to wake up and get out of the same bed I got into the night before. I swear.....I dont remember the last time that happened. The end.(Till tonight....When I repeat it all again.)
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 12:47:46 +0000
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